Tips for Fighting Procrastination
by Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
It’s hard to find someone that has never had to deal with the problem of procrastination. It’s so common because most people naturally put off activities that they don’t enjoy.
On some days, procrastination might be a more difficult problem for you to conquer than others. One day you might sail along smoothly and the next you might not feel like leaving your bed. While everyone has a bad day from time to time, it’s also a good idea to overcome a procrastinating mindset.
Consider following these procrastination tips:
Take small steps. When you’re putting off starting a large project it may be because it seems like a huge task that will eat up all of your time. Instead of expecting yourself to work for hours on end, try starting with 10 minutes. This will get you going on it and then it will be easier to continue.
Give yourself breaks. While sitting down for 8 hours to complete a task sounds daunting, try dividing it up into small steps and take a break when you complete each step. Another method is to give yourself a 10 minute break every hour. Go for a walk in the fresh air, surf the ‘net, or text a friend on your break. Doing so will refresh your mind so you can get back to your project with renewed energy.
Make a plan. It’s easy to continue on the path of procrastination when your goals remain unclear. Give yourself a strict deadline if necessary. Write down the tasks you need to complete and the details of those tasks. It’s a way of holding yourself accountable for what is or isn’t done at the end of the day.
Get to the root of the problem. Sometimes there’s an underlying reason why you’ve been procrastinating on one specific issue. You might not be able to identify this reason until you really think about it. If you can identify the reason, you might solve your procrastination problem for that specific issue.
Reward yourself. While a break might seem like a reward, you can promise yourself other types of rewards for completing tough tasks. Decide on something you want to have or want to do. Allow yourself this luxury once you’ve completed the task at hand.
Believe in yourself. When you believe in yourself, you gain a passion for life and an enthusiasm that will help you get through the day. Once you believe in yourself, you have the power to get over procrastination and reach your ultimate goals in life.
Do the least-liked task first. When your day consists of many tasks you need to complete, start with the one that’s hanging over your head. While you might be procrastinating against all of them, once the bad ones are out of the way, your day will improve.
Schedule fun tasks, too! It’s important to make time for yourself, so enjoyable tasks should be a part of your day, too. Since your to-do list is usually packed with undesirable tasks, you should include enjoyable activities as well.
For example, if you want to play volleyball on Tuesday nights, write it down on your to-do list. When you cross it off your list, you’ll feel like you’ve accomplished something important – and you have!
Practice these techniques to help you fight procrastination and soon you’ll find that much of your stress has melted away and you’ll have more time for enjoying the things you love the most!
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Four Common Self-Sabotaging Tactics
by Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
There are four common self-sabotaging tactics that you should avoid at all cost.
Do you find yourself repeating behaviors that sabotage your success? Are you ready to put your limiting behavior to rest in favor of a better outlook and greater fulfillment?
The first step to the success you crave is being able to recognize the limiting beliefs that stand in the way of your success. Once you do, you can banish those beliefs in favor of more empowering ones. Become aware of these self-sabotaging thoughts and beliefs that you hold so you can replace them with more productive thoughts that support your success:
Settling for less than your best causes you to stop short of unleashing your fullest potential. Sometimes you settle for less because you’re scared of encountering failure. Other times, you may settle simply because you lack awareness of your own strength.
Test your strength constantly by going out of your comfort zone. Face your fears, because more often than not, your fear is the only obstacle between you and ultimate success.
Expecting too much from others. When you automatically expect help from others, or anticipate that others will bail you out of a tough situation, you’re expecting too much. You are only responsible for yourself. Even if your friends and family have helped you in the past, they may choose to let you fend for yourself this time around. Always be prepared to suffer the consequences of your actions and clean up your own mess. Choose a more sensible path that takes into account that you may journey to your destination alone.
Do you feel sorry for yourself? If your current situation causes you to feel like something’s missing, change your circumstances. Instead of dwelling on what could have been and focusing on the unfortunate hand you’ve been dealt, seek to learn from every experience and focus on solutions, instead of problems.
Your success is your responsibility. Hold yourself accountable for your results and allow unfortunate situations to steer you toward success, instead of deterring you from achieving your dreams. By maintaining this mindset, even your worst trial will be far better than remaining on the sidelines of life.
Lack of a back-up plan can be a problem. If your initial plan gives less than desired results, your only chance at success is your ability to adapt. Everyone needs a Plan B. You may feel like a pessimist by planning for an unfortunate outcome, but this planning is actually proactive. It shows your mind that you’re serious about reaching your desired destination. Ensure your financial security, mental health, and well-being by always planning for the worst while hoping for the best.
If you often find yourself creating any of these self-sabotaging behaviors that hinder your chances of success, decide that today is going to be a new day.
The important thing is that you recognize the thought patterns and behaviors that limit you and head in a new direction that supports your success.
Replace unproductive ways of thinking with a more productive, solution-oriented focus that tells your mind you deserve the success you seek. When you do, your success is inevitable.
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Tips To Get You To Where You Want To Be
by Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
While you should strive to make your dreams come true, concentrate, on yourself and your journey. When you spend less time wishing things were different and more time accepting what you’ve got, you’ve already found a sense of peace and happiness right there.
Dr. Joe Vitale, renowned motivational speaker and author, often says: “the fastest way to get where you want is to be happy with where you are.” Believe it or not, this mindset really works! It may take some changes and soul searching on your part, but in the end, it’ll be more than worth it to adopt this positive mentality.
Here are some tips that can help you become who you want to be right now:
Feel gratitude. When you concentrate on the big picture, it’s easier to exhibit feelings of gratitude. When you’re grateful, you remain positive and appreciative of every joyful moment in life. Sometimes people get too caught up in a sense of entitlement, which leads to negative feelings. Concentrating on gratitude, instead, will get you where you desire.
Be optimistic. Some say that life is all about optimism. And it’s true! An optimistic attitude is one of the few things you need to succeed. If you’re trying to achieve a concrete goal, optimism will help you accomplish it. If you’re trying to change your mindset, optimism will make the task easier. Optimism can be the driving force that keeps you going.
Exhibit the traits you desire. It was Gandhi who said that you should be the change you want to see in the world. With these wise words in mind, you can replace wanting with some bold action. With some persistence and perseverance, you can make it happen.
Adopt a prosperous mindset. Take a moment to determine what prosperity means to you. Are you hoping for money, a fulfilling career, or a relationship that lasts a lifetime? Know what you want, then adopt the right mindset. Once you do, you’ve then set yourself in the right direction toward your goals.
Find the silver lining. As you go through life, you will no doubt realize that things are not always going to go your way. But even in tough times you need to keep your chin up. Instead of allowing negativity to consume your life, seek out the silver lining. This fresh attitude can be the difference between being held hostage and achieving your goals.
Take small steps. When the place you’re going seems far away and unachievable, it’s important to break it down into small steps. Give yourself an achievable goal with a realistic time frame. Break that one down into smaller goals. When you avoid getting overwhelmed, you’ll gain the confidence to persevere.
You’re Already There! It’s a good idea to practice one of these tips at a time until you’ve incorporated them into your life. Perhaps you can spend a week perfecting one strategy and, then the next week, add another one to your repertoire while continuing with the first one. Soon enough, you’ll be a natural at all of them!
Once you choose a powerful and positive mindset, you’ll find that you’ve already achieved much of what you want. Just remember: You already have the traits, mindset, and lifestyle you desire, and you know that success is inevitable, but only when you have the will to break through the obstacles in your mind!
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Bring Your Personal Goals into Reality
by Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
Do you go about your daily life just getting by from one day to the next, all the while saving your dream goals for “someday?” Wouldn’t you love to turn that “someday” into today?
Your personal goals can become reality, and sooner than you think, too! By believing in yourself and taking decisive action, even if it’s one small step at a time, you can wake up one day soon and find that you’re living the life of your dreams.
What’s your biggest reason for putting off your goals until a later date? Is it because your goals are unattainable or require a tremendous change from the life you’re living now? The good news is, even with such large goals, you can get yourself on the right track by consistently allocating a little free time toward these goals.
Here are some tips to help you achieve your goals:
Clarify your goals: Instead of thinking of your goals as vague ideas, determine exactly what you want. If you want money, how much do you want? If you want to lose weight, how much? Specify your goal in a measurable format.
Make a solid plan: The planning phase is very important. This is where you figure out how you’re going to get what you want. It’s as simple as choosing a path toward your goal and writing down each step you’ll need to take to achieve it.
Hold yourself to deadlines: Give yourself a reasonable amount of time to achieve each step and hold yourself accountable. When the going gets tough, just picture that big payoff you’ll enjoy when you get past your hurdles and achieve your goal.
Be prepared to deal with setbacks: Expect the unexpected. Sometimes, things go awry. When facing a setback, learn what you can from the situation and then fight your way back into the game. Most importantly, continue to believe in yourself. Each challenge you overcome makes you stronger.
Explore your options: Sometimes when your circumstances in life change, your priorities also change, and that’s okay! Never be afraid of reevaluating your situation and your goals. If you decide to take a different path in life, it’s your decision. Make new goals, and corresponding plans, for your new journey.
Be serious about your goals: When you feel that your goals are a priority, it’ll be easier for you to avoid procrastination. Taking your wants and needs seriously could make all the difference between reaching your goals or not.
Break your goal into smaller pieces: This tip is especially important when you’re pursuing a large goal. For example, if your goal is to go after a career that involves a great deal of specialized training, then make each type of training a goal in itself. Celebrate as you complete each step because you’re now one step closer to your dream!
Get the help you need: There are many people willing to help you reach your goals in life. Whether it’s someone to lean on to give you an extra confidence push, or someone to outsource work to, it’ll show you that you can count on others for help. With help, you can accomplish more.
It all comes down to your attitude. Once you’ve got your goals organized, if you have a positive mindset about achieving them, you’ll also have the drive necessary to keep working until you reach success. Take these strategies to heart, and live the life you desire – and deserve!
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About the Author: Dr. Brons is the Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working coach. Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning to live by your own design. Visit his website at www.ajourneytojoy.com.
How Do You Define Failure?
by Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
What do you think when you hear the word failure? You probably are thinking that you’re not good enough and that you should give up.
While failure can involve those thoughts and emotions, failure can also make us stronger or wiser. A simple definition of failure is: An act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success.
When I think of this definition of failure, I’m reminded of Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb. While there are many conflicting stories of how many times Edison “failed” at inventing the electric light bulb, most agree it was in the thousands before he found the right combination of materials.
One of Edison’s most famous quotes is, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. I am not discouraged because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.” If you adopt this same attitude, you’ll overcome your feelings of failure and be able to see your dreams and desires come to fruition.
Robert Schuller stated these famous words, “Failure doesn’t mean you’re a failure; it just means you haven’t succeeded yet.” Henry Ford said, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”
When you consider those words from these wise and successful people, you’ll truly begin to understand the power of failure. The truth is, you only fail when you give up! When you keep trying until you’ve found the answer or the solution, you’re successful. You’d never say Thomas Edison, Robert Schuller or Henry Ford were failures would you? Sure, they were unsuccessful many, many times, but they didn’t give up until they found the answer, the right procedure or the right materials to solve their dilemma.
In case those quotes weren’t enough to make you believe failure has a positive power and strength, here are some more you might relate to:
“Failure is an event, never a person.” – William D. Brown. The next time you try your hand at something and don’t achieve the desired result immediately, remember failure is an event; it’s not you.
Bill Cosby also said it well when he said, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” If you’re trying to please everyone, you can’t possibly succeed!
“Never confuse a single defeat with final defeat.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
“You can’t have any successes until you can accept failures.” – George Cukor
Just because you’ve failed once, twice or 10,000 times at something, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You only fail when you stop trying.
Still not convinced? How about this:
“You always pass failure on your way to success.” – Mickey Rooney. What do these words mean to you? No matter what you’re trying to succeed at, whether it’s a sport, project, career, invention, or at school, there will be times when you don’t succeed. But you mustn’t let that stop you from reaching your goals, dreams, and desires.
The common thread among all these famous people and their wise words is the same. You can’t have success without failure. Never give up and never stop trying. There is power in failure, you just have to give yourself a chance.
Keep trying, keep failing and soon you’ll find true success!
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About the Author: Dr. Brons is the Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working coach. Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning to live by your own design. Visit his website at www.ajourneytojoy.com.
6 Simple Rules in Life
by Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
As a life coach I am often asked how to go about improving life in a simple manner that will bring about a positive difference. Let me tell you, life is simple and peaceful if you incorporate the following six rules into your daily routine.
Practice some quiet time everyday. Quietness of mind is the secret ingredient to a happy and successful life. Make it a regular habit to enjoy some quiet time every day. To start with set aside just 10 minutes at the start of the day. Just sit in a quiet place without paying any attention to your passing thoughts. You could pay attention only to your breathing and notice your chest and abdomen while breathing. This is not yoga, meditation, etc. This is simply a quiet time. Just ten minutes a day in the morning or night before bedtime is ideal for you to enjoy the peace within. If you make this a regular habit you would witness a better quality of life real soon.
Exercise your body and mind. Daily exercise keeps you away from mental and physical illness. Exercise keeps your body flexible, supple and strong. This leads to a balanced mind. There are plenty of good exercises you could choose from to keep yourself healthy and enjoy a long life. If you have not been exercising, you could start today. Just go for a brisk walk and feel the fresh air filling your lungs.
Eat sensibly. This area really poses a challenge for most of us. ‘You are what you eat’ is not just a mere saying. It is a fact of life. What we eat, why we eat, when we eat and how we eat are important factors related to our physical, psychological and spiritual well-being. It would be wise to choose a healthy diet and stick to it. Your goal should not only be to lose weight but also to keep it under control so that your body and mind does not bear the strain of overweight.
Choose a fulfilling profession or job. Many people have a habit of switching jobs. They do not seem to know what they are looking for. They are not sure if they are after money, challenge, job satisfaction, etc. It is important that you have clear-cut ideas of what you are looking for in a job. You should love your job in order to do it well and succeed in it. You would find fulfillment in your career only when you love your profession or job.
Maintain good relationships. Life is for sharing. Share your love and happiness with your friends and family. Learn to cherish your relationships. Respect everyone around you and develop good communication skills to establish truly valuable relationships. Relationships make your life meaningful.
Get enough sleep. Sleep restores energy. Make sure to get 6 to 8 hours of sleep each night. Deep, regular and restful mind is good for body and mind. If you have unhealthy sleeping habits get rid of them and develop good sleeping habits. Enjoy the benefits of good sleep.
When you practice these simple rules you are bound to enjoy a happy, healthy and peaceful life. Life is quite simple, really!
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About the Author: Dr. Brons is the Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working coach. Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning to live by your own design. Visit his website at www.ajourneytojoy.com.
Setting Highly Effective Goals for 2011
by Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
A New Year, sometimes requires a new way of thinking …
As we move into 2011, you need to know that having the right attitude is not only the key to becoming successful; you must also set the proper goal that will assist you in your overall success. Goal setting is one way of establishing several steps to guide you in meeting your objectives. This means identifying specifically what you want to achieve. If done the right way, your methods might result in a successful enterprise as you work your way to success.
There are Three Qualities of Setting an Effective Goal:
Before you start your goal setting, keep in mind the three qualities that will help you get to where you want. Your goals must be measurable, realistic, and well-reviewed.
Read more
Your Own Personal Development Plan (PDP)
by Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
You may have heard about personal Development Plans and may be wondering just what these are? More and more people are beginning their journey into creating their PDP and maybe it is time you did the same?
A personal development plan is a structured and supported process undertaken by an individual to consider and improve upon his personal, educational and professional development. The individual is in control of his own development with the opportunity to monitor and steer his growth. It is simply a tool to encourage and support lifelong learning.
The process involves identifying the areas that need development, planning, executing and reviewing.
We all tend to have a mental block when it comes to addressing our own problems. Many people are afraid about taking time and thinking about their problems and solutions to those problems. A PDP would help them to solve their problems in an easy manner.
You could start developing your PDP anytime. Based on your present situation and role, you could draw a PDP that could help to prioritize the most important areas of your life that need immediate attention and concentration.
Identify areas that need progress – This is the first step towards constructing your PDP. You need to be in tune with your current situation in life – know who you are, what you want to achieve, what you have and what you lack. You also have to be clear about what is working for you now and what is not. You need to check on what you are ignoring, too.
Many people may delay in this first step if they have problem identifying the areas of their life that needs development. If you are one of them just think about those areas that are important to you – for example, you could consider the following areas: Physical and mental wellbeing, education, spiritual pursuit, finances, recreation, relationships – personal and professional, etc. You do not need to write down everything in detail but just make a list of these areas.
This list would help you to prioritize your areas. After you identify your areas that need improvement, write down what improvements you prefer to make in each of these areas as it relates to your personal growth.
Set a timeline on each goal – Begin with your short-term goals and then proceed to long-term goals
Write down your action plan – how do you plan to go about this process?
Review your plan – is this plan workable? Would you like to make a few changes or draw a new PDP?
Implement your plan – stick to your plan and follow your schedule
Review your progress – are you following the timeline? Are you progressing accordingly?
When you develop your own PDP, follow through with action and achieve your goals you would feel like you are on top of the world. You gain more confidence that your life is in your control. You get a great satisfaction. Take one step at a time and enjoy the process.
That is the key to success.
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About the Author: Dr. Brons is the Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working coach. Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning to live by your own design. Visit his website at www.ajourneytojoy.com.
Motivation Strategies
by Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
Success and achievement requires work, patience and motivation. Motivation can be viewed by some as a temporary solution to a permanent problem. What that means is, there is always something to do when it comes to success.
We need to succeed at better grades. We need to succeed at becoming more profitable in business. We need to succeed in our family life – being a better parent or spouse. We need to succeed financially – be it personally or business. We need to succeed physically. Maybe we need to drop a few pounds or add some muscle mass.
The bottom line is, we all need motivation on some level whether it’s for a short time or for an ongoing long time frame. Below are twelve ways that you can become more motivated for your success trail.
Some may be for you. Some may not. But with these you are sure to find at least one that works with your personality.
Reading –
Reading can be inspirational as well as motivational. It’s a form of learning, research, escape, entertainment and even training. Reading up on your desired goals can be motivational. For example, if you are wanting to get in shape, you may subscribe to a well known fitness magazine. The articles and pictures alone could be motivation to keep you on the treadmill or bench press.
Listening –
Listening is a lot like reading. But instead of being tied to a book, you can listen to motivational recordings just about anywhere. The most common place is the car. If you are working in an office setting away from your home, you may have a lengthy route to work. That’s a perfect time for motivational listening. If you have the luxury of listening while at home or in the office, a great way to further your motivation is to actually take notes of important points that you hear from your recordings.
Affirmation -
Affirmations are good for those of us who need repetition. Have you heard the saying, “Tell someone something long enough and they will eventually believe it.” Well an affirmation is that kind of motivational resource. Someone usually finds a saying that really charges them – something they really believe in – and they will write it down and read it daily, sometimes several times daily. This eventually will get in that person’s head and they will own it as a fact or part of who they are. The great thing about affirmations are, they can really take good information, motivational and inspiring information, and flood out the negativity that’s in your head. Out with the old (bad) and in with the new (good).
Visualization -
Here’s a powerful way to stay motivated. If you can see your outcome, a lot of times it will motivate you to see it through to the end. The only downside is it takes a little practice. But it is well worth the effort. Your results will show you how worth it.
Negativity -
Negativity is a harsh motivator. What I mean is, negativity is bad. But if you’re the kind of person that likes to take the negativity from people and feed it back to them by your positive results, then you have a great motivational technique by tuning into the comments of others who ‘don’t think it’s possible’. With this technique, you have to be careful that the negativity doesn’t rub off on your and you start to believe it.
Remembering why you’re doing what you’re doing is a great way to stay motivated. If you’re building wealth to give your family things they never dreamed possible. Just remembering that fact can motivate your drive harder than when you first thought about it. As time goes on, you will be more driven the more you remember your reasons.
Huge amounts of motivation are already in you. You just have to know how to tap into it. And if these half dozen motivational strategies are a start. If you don’t see one you connect, there are more coming!
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About the Author: Dr. Brons is the Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working coach. Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning to live by your own design. Visit his website at www.ajourneytojoy.com.
People to Stay Away From
by Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
Outrageous lifestyles of successful living are envied by most of the world. Are you part of the envied? Or are you part of the envying? If you are living a successful life by your own standards, congratulations. If you haven’t quite reached that level yet, then this article is for you.
There are several characteristics that those who practice successful living possess. The characteristics listed below are NOT any of them. In fact, they are the opposite. See if you possess these characteristics and, if you do, my advice to you is… change.
The Dreadful Dud
The dreadful dud is the person who answers questions with one word. Any time there is anyone who wants to initiate a conversation with the Dreadful Dud, the conversation is dead before it gets started. These people are not mean or necessarily rude. They just don’t believe they have much to contribute, so they cut it short as much as possible. Consequently, the conversations become fewer and fewer.
Eventually, the Dreadful Dud gets the reputation of the dull guy or girl. Or you might say he or she is a dud. Don’t be a dud. Practice your natural personality. Did you know that you were created to enjoy life? Did you know that life is meant to be tasted? There are juices inside to be experienced. When was the last time you took a chance? Live life as it’s something to be loved. Practice makes perfect. Practice passion. Practice charisma. It’s who you really are.
The Social Soloist
The Social Soloist is the person who never begins to live and love life. This person finds him/herself at home, alone, on the couch, every night, watching silly reality programs. The Social Soloist finds purpose in who is going to have to eat the next set of buffalo testicles or who is going to be kicked off an island.
The irony of the whole thing is the Social Soloist is at home experiencing nothing while he/she watches those who are actually living and loving life. Does that make sense? Instead of trying to escape through the boob tube, get out and meet people. If you must start small, invite some people over to watch a decent movie. Eventually, it will develop into a social fun time and, who knows, it just may move out of the TV room.
The Pitiful Procrastinator
Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow. Ever hear that one? How ridiculous! Have you ever known anyone that lived by this motto? How frustrating! The Pitiful Procrastinator always finds him/herself stressed out and behind in life. Why? They keep putting it off! Everything is always put off until later. Nothing is ever done in time. And when it eventually gets done, it’s shoddy and half-way completed. They just want to hurry up and get over with… whatever “it” is.
Laundry. Homework. Dishes. Meetings. Confrontation. Putting gas in the car. Changing Careers. You name it, it never gets done when it needs to get done. Life will pass the Pitiful Procrastinator by. And when it’s too late to make up his/her mind, regret will take hold. Do not let regret arise and dominate your mind. Instead, take control of your mind right now. Make a freakin list and stick by it! Don’t fall prey to the practice of the Pitiful Procrastinator. Remember, practice makes perfect.
The Unknown Optimist
These people have such positive energy they could suck the life out of the room if they were to make a phone call during a New Years Eve party. While everyone is having such a good time, making plans and looking forward to the future, the unknown optimist looks to the dark side. The unknown optimist looks to the dark side of everything. If you were to tell this person that he just one $1,000.000.00, he would say something like, “Great! Now I’m going to be in a higher tax bracket and have to pay more taxes.”
The unknown optimist lives in a vacuum that you do not want to live in. It’s the “everything sucks” vacuum. Take inventory of your overall attitude. Don’t take the extreme opposite route either. If you go to the opposite extreme, you’ll find yourself on the Pollyanna platform.
A great place to be is in the realistic but optimistic middle. While you’re there, be sure to live and love life.
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About the Author: Dr. Brons is the Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working coach. Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning to live by your own design. Visit his website at www.ajourneytojoy.com.
Seize Your Life’s Moments
Life is too short not to enjoy, so while you still have time, let your hair down and remove that “Boring” tag in your so-called life and start making it worthwhile. Below are some tips that will help you escape from your self-made rut and start controlling how you spend each waking hour of your day.
Keep a Positive Atmosphere. Stop whining about the things you don’t have and how wrecked you think your life is. Rather, enjoy what you have and work on getting the things you desire. Psychologists believe that optimism is a good defense against unhappiness, so it is better to keep your optimism alive. Moaning about your life will only attract negative vibes, so be wary.
Don’t Be Afraid to Take Risks. Life is all about taking risks; and that’s the exciting part of it. Get out of your comfort zone and don’t be afraid of rejection. Challenges and failure are part of life. Once you learn how to take risks, you’ll soon realize how good it feels not to let moments pass you by. Trust me, you’ll get more out of life than what you are asking for, if you keep on trying.
Carpe Diem. Enjoy the present and let go of the past. You only have one life, so make it worthwhile. Brooding on the past just hinders you from the things you should be enjoying at the present.
List The Things You Want to Do. Stop lazing around and give yourself something to be busy about. Write down a list of all the things you want to do and make a timeline, not to stress you out, but to remind you of your goals. Say, for example, you make a list of all the places you want to visit before you turn forty. No matter how unrealistic your dreams are, still jot them down. As what Paulo Coelho stressed in his book The Alchemist, “It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” So don’t put limits to yourself because you’ll never know what may happen.
Try Out Something New. Getting into something or trying something unfamiliar for you may seem scary, but nothing is more fulfilling than being able to conquer your fear. If you are afraid of heights, try bungee jumping or sky diving, even just once. Who knows? You might enjoy it! The world is a big place and there are still lots of things waiting to be explored by you. Do the things you never did or even imagined doing before. Go to a foreign place where you know no one. Eat something exotic. And, yes, even the littlest act of donning short hair, when you have lived all your life sporting long hair, still counts.
For now,
Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
About the Author: Dr. Brons is the Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working coach. Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning to live by your own design. Visit his website at www.ajourneytojoy.com.
Attaining Your Goals Effectively
by Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
Whether for the short or long term, every person in this planet has set a goal that needs to be reached. It may be small, like getting to work on time, or huge, like building a house in a year’s time, or even running for the U.S. presidency. Sometimes, these goals are met with flying colors. There are moments, however, when the effort ends with disappointment.
There are many reasons why some goals are not met. Needless to say, the failure to achieve them is often a key contributor to low self-esteem and drive. The trick to getting past the hard times? Don’t let them get to you and move on.
Between Goals and Success:
Success and goal attainment always come together. More goals set almost always translates to greater success. There are goal attainment strategies that are focused on things that should be always be accessible and available. These include powerful emotions like desire and passion. It also includes expectancy and the ability to identify your current state, as well as the creativity and imagination to build the path towards your goals.
There are several approaches to successful goal attainment, and their proper implementation could be the very element that can make or break your road to achievement.
The first approach in attaining your goals is to objectively scrutinize and appraise your abilities and skills.
Setting goals that are flexible and realistic is a great help. Don’t pressure yourself to buy a brand new car in 3 months if you’re earning only around $300 per month gross. Goals that are beyond one’s normal ability to meet are a dream to achieve, IF you get them. However, they can also lead to depression if you don’t.
Be open-minded when it comes to networking. Make friends. Establish connections. Just don’t do it too much to run the risk of looking like a desperate sycophant, of course. Keep learning about your goal and searching for various ways to get closer to it. You don’t need to take just one path. Explore other possibilities and expand your horizons. Who knows, you might find, along the way, that there are more important and more urgent goals that need to me reached.
The bottomline is, be original and don’t follow a template. What may work for your colleague when he got a promotion might not be the proper route for you. All these sound like a very rigorous process, but it’s really not. You will find, as you trudge through that realistic path you laid out, that everything can actually occur naturally and seamlessly.
Internal and External Barriers
Both internal and external barriers impede a person’s ability to take the first step towards a goal. Internal barriers include your fears. Fear of the unknown, the fear of looking stupid, fear of failure, and even fear of actually living success are the common and will definitely create negative impact. Pushing all these fears out and telling yourself that you can win will definitely help you deal with them effectively. You are the captain of your ship. You alone have the power to will these negative thoughts away.
External barriers include the lack of money, the requests and petition of the family, your kids and your work, even religion and culture. Most of these barriers are things you can’t really control towards your favor. Thus, like what life coaches usually say, don’t worry about things you cannot control and focus only on those you can change. So grab a pen and make a list of what you want to achieve; and once you’re done listing, take the first step. Go on, you can do it.
END
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About the Author: Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C., is the current Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working life coach. Randin specializes in working with individuals to regain a sense of control over their lives … dreams and future. The power of Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning how to live by your own design. You can contact the author through our corporate email: rhema-int@shaw.ca. Visit his Website www.ajourneytojoy.com to find out more about his unique gift and work.
Living with a Chronic Disease
When first being initiated into life coach training, I was often asked for suggestions about living with chronic disease. As time has passed this is one topic that still remains at the forefront of may emails that I receive. Living with a chronic disease is difficult because of the pain, suffering, and shame that often accompanies the disease. It can be easy to fall victim to the negative mindset of “My life is ruined” or “I’m useless now,” but that doesn’t have to be the case no matter how debilitating the disease may be.
When living with a chronic disease, it’s important to focus on what you can do. Likewise, it’s important to disallow negative thoughts from dictating what you can and can’t do.
When you’re diagnosed with a chronic illness, there are many changes that take place:
- Change in your lifestyle
- Change in your attitude
- Change in the way you do things
Maybe even a change in where you live
That’s a lot and all these changes can certainly be stressful!
Taking Control
Our mindset is the biggest factor on how you choose to react to a negative situation. Remember, your reaction is always a choice. You can let the news debilitate you or you can let it move you into new areas you might’ve never thought possible.
When I think of someone with a chronic disease, Michael J. Fox is one of the first people who comes to mind. He has Parkinson’s disease, which causes loss of muscle control throughout his body. Fox constantly shakes and trembles, making everyday tasks like brushing teeth and eating very difficult. Not only that, but he had to make a complete lifestyle change from a successful acting career to being an activist in helping others who have Parkinson’s or other diseases.
Does Michael J. Fox allow Parkinson’s to control his life? No, he took control and has learned other ways to live life to the fullest, despite his disease.
Making a Difference in the Lives of Others
You don’t have to be a TV or movie star to make a difference in your life or the lives of others either. There are many opportunities to help others and build a community. Some of these are:
- Start a blog about what it’s like to live with your disease. Others may benefit from knowing that they aren’t alone in their sufferings. You just may be the source of encouragement that strengthens others!
- Fundraising activities and events. Get involved with fundraising, whether it’s in your local area or worldwide via the Internet.
- Speak out about your illness. Be a speaker at a fundraiser, in a school or at other events to help raise awareness.
- Volunteer at your local community center. Be proof that living with a chronic disease doesn’t have to be debilitating. Be an advocate for yourself and those with the disease.
Support One Another
Make it your mission to find others to rely on for support and encouragement. Getting involved with support groups gives you the social support that is essential to your mental and emotional well being. Search for a support group online or in your local area and get active in the group.
Don’t let the disease have control over your life.
By taking action and getting directly (or indirectly) involved with finding a cure, raising awareness in your community, and speaking to others about it, you’ll find that life doesn’t stop because of the disease. Instead, many doors of opportunity are waiting to be opened by you.
For now,
Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
About the Author: Dr. Brons is the Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working coach. Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning to live by your own design. Visit his website at www.ajourneytojoy.com.
The True Measure of Happiness
Most people would judge a person who is always smiling, laughing and giggling to be a happy and jolly person. However, are the smiles and the laughter of a person enough for others to say that he is happy? Happiness is more than smiling and showing a happy facade. Remember, people are great pretenders. Some individuals may be laughing or grinning on the outside, but in the inside, their hearts are crying and in pain.
Happiness is also not measured by the status in life that an individual is in. Whoever said that the rich is happier than the poor and vice versa is wrong. The feeling of being happy is relative and the ways to attain it is different for everyone.
What Is Happiness?
Almost every person has his or her own personal search or journey to find happiness. Just like a pot of gold at the end if a rainbow, everyone tries to find it in different kinds of places, things, and people.
There is no actual and concrete definition of happiness (well, unless you philosophically define it as “the state of being happy”). Each person has his or her own version of happiness. What’s “happy” for one may still be “unhappy “for someone else, and what’s “unhappy” for someone else may already be great joy to another.
How to Be Happy
Perhaps the simplest and greatest way to lead a person to become happy is by letting go of one’s selfish desires. By ceasing to think for oneself, one begins to be happy. Sacrifice is a great step towards happiness. Although most people would say that in order to be happy, they have to do a lot of things for themselves, buy numerous material things such as clothes, gadgets, houses, cars, etc., the greatest way to be happy is to learn that it is not in pleasing oneself that man becomes happy; it is by striving to please and serve others, to try and make other people smile, that would truly make a person happy.
The material things that bring us joy are only what we can call “superficial happiness”. Admittedly, it brings us happiness, but not complete and absolute happiness. Don’t go investing too much on material things because in the end, it’s what you do, the sacrifices that you made, the people that you love and love you are the ones who can truly determine your happiness.
For now,
Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
About the Author: Dr. Brons is the Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working coach. Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning to live by your own design. Visit his website at www.ajourneytojoy.com.
Million Dollar Mentor
by Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
There is one way – a way that is faster – a way that is more helpful – a way that is less lonely – to become successful than the trial and error way. That way is to simply adopt a mentor.
For those who may be asking, “But what if I can’t find a mentor that will agree to mentor me?” Well, here’s a little secret.
Your mentor doesn’t even have to know. That’s right. It’s possible to have a mentor without ever even meeting him/her. This will require a little more attention to details of your mentor’s life. This is called an informal mentor. But even though it’s informal, it can be very powerful.
Of course, if you can find a mentor that will ‘take you under his/her wing’ that’s great too! But it’s not 100% necessary.
Here are a few things you will want to look for when choosing a mentor for yourself.
- Trust. After meeting or researching your mentor, you must decide if you can trust this person. If you can, you’ll want to move on to the next step in the selection process.
- Respect. Once you’ve decided on your mentor, there must be a mutual respect between the two of you (this is for the one-on-one mentorship). If your mentor ends up not respecting you, or if you don’t respect him/her, then the relationship is over. This is not usually a problem. It doesn’t happen often.
- Drive. Make sure your mentor has a drive to see that you succeed. You should know this after about 3 meetings. For those who are choosing an informal mentor, your research will reveal the drive. But chances are you’re not going to choose someone who isn’t successful. That person probably wouldn’t be successful unless they have drive.
- Direction. Your mentor should show you direction, either by telling you or by his/her actions. Your mentor will make suggestions, give examples and offer constructive criticism. This information can cut years off learning something vital to business and/or life. It is imperative to take the information into consideration. It could change your life.
There are two things that are important to note when speaking about mentors:
- When choosing an informal mentor, you want to get your hands on everything that your chosen mentor has written or recorded. This way, you will get to know him/her as well as possible. That will help you determine how your mentor would make decisions and will help you succeed faster.
- Another little secret about choosing mentors is you don’t have to limit it to one. That’s right! You can have more than one mentor. It may be a good idea to have more than one just from having a different perspective in any particular situation.
Now, start your list. Who will be your mentor(s)?
END
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About the Author: Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C., is the current Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working life coach. Randin specializes in working with individuals to regain a sense of control over their lives … dreams and future. The power of Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning how to live by your own design. You can contact the author through our corporate email: rhema-int@shaw.ca. Visit his Website www.ajourneytojoy.com to find out more about his unique gift and work.
F.O.C.U.S.
Faith
Faith means to believe. In fact, the Bible says that faith is the evidence of things unseen. By using that definition, you can know that you don’t even have to see it to believe it. If you have a place you see yourself, but you’re not there yet, believe without a shadow of a doubt that you will reach that place, and you will. It’s called faith. But you must have unwaivering faith that you will achieve it. Do not get discouraged because it’s not happening fast enough. Faith = Believe and belief comes with hard core focus. Do not lose site of the goal.
Openness
To become successful – whatever that means to you – there is a universal principle that must be adopted in almost every area of your life. That principle can be called openness. Open to what? Good question. To everything really. That means being open to points of views that you would not necessarily agree with. That means being open to deals that may not seem attractive at first. You have to be open to:
- letting go
- embracing
- loving
- meeting new people
- disappointment
- success
- stretching
- loyalty
- loss
The point is, being open to everything is crucial. Expect no surprises. That way, when you ARE surprised, you’ll be able and more prepared to deal with it – good or bad.
Celebrate
While on the journey of success – and it is a journey – you’ve got to learn to celebrate. Celebrate your successes. That’s easy! Also, celebrate your trials, frustrations and trips ups. Why? You’re learning. Now, admittedly, celebrating during this process is a bit more difficult. It’s not natural to celebrate in any kind of negative mood.
But you could look at it as a silver lining. Even though you’re going through a particular frustration, you can always find comfort in the fact that you’ll have more information when dealing with a similar situation in the future. Focus on the future and the fact that you have more ammunition for success now.
Understand
Understand that focus is essential to getting what you want. How many times have you started an exercise program but never finished? How many times have you started a diet but never followed through? How many New Year’s resolutions have you set? How many have you completed?
Understanding focus is one of the main keys to success is a huge mindset to anchor. If you really understand it, you know that just the ‘knowing’ is not enough. Focus is a verb. And for it to effective means you have to – well. . . focus.
Focus means to cultivate a laser beam attention to the task at hand. Distractions can not enter and anything that will keep you from accomplishing your goal does not exist.
Understand that and you understand the essence of focus.
Success
Faith, Openness, Celebration and Understanding leads to Success. Once you’ve experienced success, don’t take it for granted. If you take it for granted, chances are you have no idea how you achieved the goal you were after.
Take a look back on your path up to your success and I bet you’ll find most of these points of achievement above.
Here’s to your success!
For now,
Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
About the Author: Dr. Brons is the Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working coach. Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning to live by your own design. Visit his website at www.ajourneytojoy.com.
How to Develop a Prosperity Mindset
Having a prosperity mindset is a key factor in reaching your financial goals. It keeps you on track toward your goals regardless of any challenges you encounter along the way.
These strategies below will help you foster a prosperity mindset that can enable you to live the life you desire.
Keep Your Focus
If you find that your mind wanders from idea to idea, create one set plan and stick to it. In your plan, create a list of specific achievable action steps that lead to your goal, and then work on at least one task each day to help maintain your focus.
Plan for Success
It doesn’t matter how focused you are if you don’t have a proper plan. Your financial goals aren’t going to happen just by deciding on a number. Make some clear plans on how you’re going to get there. This will get you past the dream phase so you can start making your ultimate goals a reality.
Be as detailed in your plan as possible and set each task as a mini-goal in itself. Achieving these small goals on a daily basis keeps you motivated and moving along toward your big goal.
Harmony at Home = Success
by Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
Success and happiness versus questionable success and happiness: That’s the topic of this article. In which category do you fall? Do you know? Let’s take a look at what both are defined as and then discuss what makes up each.
Two couples. Both with six members in their families. The wife of each is a first grade teacher for a well-known elementary school in the area. Both husbands are entrepreneurs, but in different industries.
Couple One:
Higher middle-class and little to no debt. The wife is a God-fearing woman who tries to do right by her family. The husband goes to church with her on occasion. The children go with their mom as often as she goes (twice a week).
Couple Two:
Middle middle-class with a ton of debt. The husband tries to do what’s right, being the leader of the family. He tries to lead Spiritually as well. Although not perfect, he is a God-fearing man and his wife follows his example. Now, even though this is not a religious topic, it’s important to see the background of each person in this example so you know where they are physically, spiritually and emotionally as much as possible.
Now that you know a little more about each couple, which one do you think is more happy and feels more successful at home?
If you say couple one, why?
If you say couple two, why?
Well, I’ll tell you. Couple two would be considered more successful and happy – even though they have more debt and earn less money. You see, it’s not about the amount of money made. It’s not about the places you go or the people you know. Being successful at home starts in the home. Square one is the couple and how they deal with every little situation that effects their family. The very things that could destroy their marriage are the very things that strengthen their commitment to each other and to their family.
Here are just three of the intangible things that you must have to make your home a success. There are many more. But start with these, and you’ll notice a huge difference if you’re not using them already.
Communication
Even though couple one has more debt, they understand what that means. They have pegged the problem, talked about how to overcome it and are constantly keeping open lines of communication open to get rid of the debt. They don’t play the blame game. The are a couple and they work through it as a couple. Another key to this is to not fall into the debt trap again. They understand that and have communicated to each other that it won’t happen again.
Compassion
Compassion is something you must give away for it to be effective in a relationship. When someone wrongs you, if you have compassion for them, it’s called forgiveness. If you see someone less fortunate than you, and you give to them, it’s call charity. If you are married and you continually forgive and give unconditionally to your spouse, it’s called love. Compassion is the epitome of unselfishness. You need it to be successful in the home.
Coping
Let’s not paint a Pollyanna picture here without bumps, bruises, troubles or trials. The truth is there will be problems along the way. Tempers will flare. People will get hurt. But just knowing this can help you get through it. If you decide right now, that when you DO get hurt – and you will – that you will deal with it in a way that will help you get through it, the intensity of the blow will be lessened exponentially. This is a powerful coping strategy. There are millions of people today who haven’t been raised, taught or conditioned with the ability to cope with problems they face during life. That’s one reason depression rates have skied in the past 10 years.
The good news coping isn’t too difficult. Most of the time you can prepare ahead of time to cope before your situation even arises. If you can do that, you’ve won before you even have to get started. It’s as simple as a decision. These three areas are where couple number two started. That’s where a lot of their harmony in the home comes from. There are a lot of other tools and strategies that can be used. But master these three and you’ll be ahead of the happiness at home curve.
END.
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? About the Author: Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C., is the current Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working life coach. Randin specializes in working with individuals to regain a sense of control over their lives … dreams and future. The power of Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning how to live by your own design. You can contact the author through our corporate email: rhema-int@shaw.ca. Visit his website www.ajourneytojoy.com to find out more about his unique gift and work.
How Fears Develop
by Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
There have been talks about fears and phobias, and how they affect life. Fear is really the misconception, the rejection, and the dread of life.
There are thousands of life definitions available around. Often, these meanings seek or require a happy, if not perfect, life in this world. We are urged to seek out a paradise or a niche of refuge where we can build our utopia or ideal world.
But what really is life? If we honestly study human drama in history, we would see that real life is the concoction of good and bad, sad and happy. How to be happy in all these circumstances is what you make out of your life. We all create our life meanings. We cannot just borrow others’ meanings or get one from a book. We discover real life through actual life encounters. How we end up after each ordeal gives us our real life.
Life is a concoction of both extremes. Real life entails going through these ordeals. When you reject this idea and look for other life meanings — the kind where you live happily ever after — fears start to develop. You begin to look for fairy tale stuffs in life and reject the ones you actually have. Fear comes in, rejecting what is real. People who live in war zones have a realistic idea of life: You live now; you may die the next moment. They see that life is temporary — which is the truth. Thus, they are prepared to die anytime. Fears are still intact, but considerably lessened.
People who reject the truth are afraid to look at scenes of death or tragedy. The more they reject them, the more the fear grows within them. Many books on fears tell their readers to avoid seeing violence. You ought not to look for violence and watch it, but you ought not to close your eyes to it when there is one right under your nose. Life will always show you both extremes.
Mother Theresa was a non-violent person. Yet, she watched injustice and violence everyday, right where she was. She didn’t feel fear for these daily scenes; instead she felt love and concern in the midst of it all. She knew and lived a real life. Jesus Christ and Mahatma Gandhi were for non-violence. Yet they found real meaning and real life as they were caught in the middle of chaos and turmoil. These excellent people lived the real life. They even conquered others’ fears.
The rejection of the real life is the start of real fears. Fearful and phobic people refuse reality and build their own fantasy world..
END.
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? About the Author: Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C., is the current Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working life coach. Randin specializes in working with individuals to regain a sense of control over their lives … dreams and future. The power of Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning how to live by your own design. You can contact the author through our corporate email: rhema-int@shaw.ca. Visit his website www.ajourneytojoy.com to find out more about his unique gift and work.
How to be Enthusiastic
by Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
In life, we are faced with many different challenges and obstacles. Most of the time, we face these challenges with a pout on our face, or a frown – probably because we don’t like the things that we are doing. Some of the situations in life are usually forced upon us while others are put upon us at an unexpected time. Now how do we deal with all of these? And how do we face up to these problems with a smile on our faces?
These are actually several ways in which we can curb our enthusiasm to have a healthy and free lifestyle, free from the bondages of facing up to the challenge with a bucket of timidity.
If the situation is put upon you unexpectedly, don’t treat it as a burden. Treat it as a challenge. If you don’t know how to start or where to start, get some help. Always remember that there are people out there who are still willing to help you, and I can assure you that they are more than happy to help you. If an employer wishes you to do something that is not in your job description, ask a co-employee who is familiar with the job to help you with it.
Always remember to relax and to have fun always. Life is full of stressful situations that would require you to do otherwise, but hey, don’t give in to the situation. In fact, do something to change the situation. By relaxing, what I mean is to find a hobby that would totally relax you – read a book, watch television, sleep or go out and have fun with friends. That way, when you go back to the challenge awaiting you, you are free to look at it in a different light. Heck, it might even be a lot of fun doing it!
Smile always. There have been reports that say that there are more muscles needed to frown than to smile, and remember the old adage, “laughter is the best medicine”? Give yourself a break once in a while and don’t be all too serious. We can’t help it if life is too full of challenges, but what we can do is to make life worth living for us: smile and laugh – two of the best remedies in this lifetime.
When you are faced with a task so challenging that you feel that everything is drained out of you, remember these simple tips. It might only give you enthusiasm to face the challenging and daunting tasks that you encounter everyday, it can even help you save your life!
END.
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? About the Author: Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C., is the current Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working life coach. Randin specializes in working with individuals to regain a sense of control over their lives … dreams and future. The power of Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning how to live by your own design. You can contact the author through our corporate email: rhema-int@shaw.ca. Visit his website www.ajourneytojoy.com to find out more about his unique gift and work.
Learn to be Courageous
by Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
Courage is also known as bravery. It is the ability to face fear, pain, danger, uncertainty or intimidation. It is called ‘physical courage’ while facing physical challenges such as pain and hardship and ‘moral courage’ while enduring shame and discouragement.
The opposite of courage is fear. Courage makes your fear disappear. Courage is an important quality or character that you should have in order to face life’s many challenges.
Is it possible for all of us to have courage?
Well, yes. Courage also means overcoming fears. In that sense we all could learn to overcome most of our fears. You should develop courage in yourself first so that you could instill courage in others – your children, your family, your spouse and your staff at work. If you do not know what courage is and you do not have it, how could you teach others?
How do you overcome fears?
Learn to curb your fears – You should realize that everyone is afraid of something or the other. Courage does not mean absence of fear. Courage is control over your fear. A courageous person acts in spite of his fear to move forward.
Face your fears – Fears disappear the minute you stare at them. Your fear takes over you when you get scared and back away from a fearful situation. The fear looms over you and becomes more powerful. The only way you could develop courage is to be aware of your fear and confront it consciously and continuously. As you face each fear-inducing situation as a challenge your fears become weaker and you grow stronger.
Desensitize yourself to your fears – There is a technique called ‘Systematic desensitization’ which is used to treat phobias and other extreme or erroneous fears based on principles of behavior modification. In this technique you do a fearful act over and over until it has no more power over you. Your courage and confidence would grow more and more as you repeat the action several number of times. Finally your fear simply disappears once for all.
Your action plan in your efforts to overcome fear could include the following steps:
Define what courage is in your mind – it could be learning to drive, staying alone at home, going for a walk alone, swimming, etc. People are afraid of so many different things and what is simple to you may not be so for the other person.
Identify your fears – know your fears first.
Write down a list of all your fears – Be honest to yourself and do not be ashamed of admitting your fear of even the silliest thing in life.
Once your list is done, write down specific actions that you could possibly take in order to overcome those fears.
Prioritize your tasks.
Start taking action today.
END.
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? About the Author: Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C., is the current Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working life coach. Randin specializes in working with individuals to regain a sense of control over their lives … dreams and future. The power of Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning how to live by your own design. You can contact the author through our corporate email: rhema-int@shaw.ca. Visit his website www.ajourneytojoy.com to find out more about his unique gift and work.
Living Life the Simple Way
by Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
Everyone says they want to lead a simple life, but only a few have the guts to walk their talk; because, the truth of the matter is, people have a hard time leaving behind their complicated but ostentatious lives, in exchange for a simple one. But, contrary to the notion, leading a plain and unfussy life doesn’t entail you having to give up all your belongings to go and live among the mountains. Below are some tips that will shed light to the true meaning of living in simplicity.
Make a list of all the things that complicate your life. List down all the things that you think perplex the current status of your life. They can be credit card debts, the huge mortgage on your house, rising taxes, not having enough quality time with family and friends, working 14 hours a day 6 days a week, heavy traffic on your way to the office, numerous appointments and commitments; the lists is endless.
Though some of the previously mentioned things may not outwardly appear to make your life complicated, a lot of them actually make going through the day difficult, without you knowing it. The best way to deal with them is through the process of elimination. After writing down the things that complicate your life, identify which of them you could possibly avoid. Of course, things such as duties and taxes, house loans, and the like, are already beyond your control. But matters like spending too much time in the office, missing a family event, and credit card bills can still be manipulated and better managed if you really want to.
Reminisce the good ole’ days. Life today seems to be always played in fast forward. In fact, it’s so fast that, sometimes, people find it hard to cope with its stresses and demands. When everything feels too complicated, press the “Pause” button for a while and backtrack to the good old days — the time when all you could care about was to play with your neighborhood clique, spend time with your high school buddies, and worry about what to wear on your very first date.
Life was so simple before, yes. No big debts to pay, no insurance companies bugging you; in short, less worries. So, if you are determined to live a simpler life from what you have right now, just remember that anytime you can take a trip down memory lane and recall how carefree you were then. It’s a relaxing exercise that might even help you make better decisions about your life at present.
Be willing to change. If you really want to change, have the willpower and humility to make some alterations in your life. No one says that change is easy, especially when you have lived grandiosely most of your life. But, you can, if you work hard for it. Switching from complex to simple does not happen overnight so you have to be patient. Recognizing the need for change is step one toward living a less stressful life.
Take In and Take Out. When something new comes in, the old goes out. It’s time to rummage through your things and inside your mind and search for whatever is no longer practical and useful. Let go of the things that have ceased to serve their purpose, particularly those that remind you of sad times in the past. If you haven’t used or worn something for a year already, send it on its way to charity organizations, where someone may be able to utilize it more. Clearing your life from clutter frees you from the task of having to worry about organizing them. The same goes for the clutter in your head.
Go low-tech. Come to think of it, having phones, email accounts, and computers at home are already a necessity. Simplifying your life does not mean that you have to go back to the stone age, live inside a cave, and write your term papers using a typewriter, when you have the option to use a computer. We really can’t escape technology, so we really have no choice but to deal with it. However, we also cannot allow it to rule our lives. Go for a walk around the block, read a book, spend a few hours away from the television and stop to smell the roses, literally. You’ll be thankful for the refreshing change.
When life is starting to get you down and all the stresses seem to be engraved into your life, always realize that you are the captain of your ship. You will not feel engulfed by your responsibilities if you don’t let them. It’s easy to say that simplifying your life will do the trick, but actually doing it will require sheer willpower on your part. But, as the saying always goes, if you want it bad enough, the universe will eventually conspire to give it to you. So kick off those shoes and relax.
END.
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? About the Author: Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C., is the current Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working life coach. Randin specializes in working with individuals to regain a sense of control over their lives … dreams and future. The power of Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning how to live by your own design. You can contact the author through our corporate email: rhema-int@shaw.ca. Visit his website www.ajourneytojoy.com to find out more about his unique gift and work.
Re-Charge
by Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
No matter how positive your frame of mind is, during the holiday season there may be times when you feel overwhelmed, negative and drained of energy, especially when due to stress – from the pressures of job, family, holiday events and misunderstandings with a loved one. Let me offer you some help to get you through …
* Take a break. Just leave the cause of your stress for a few minutes. This tip is applicable particularly when you are overwhelmed and feel many things going on around you. Close your eyes, relax, and take deep breaths. You can also recite an affirmation to yourself. This short break can give you a new perspective on the issue – or issues – at hand when you come back.
* Meditate. Close your eyes, breathe deeply and imagine any of these situations or any image that you feel can relax you. You can make variations as you see fit:
o
A great shower of light is bathing you and wrapping all around you. This light not only envelops you but fills your being to the core.
o
You are a feather floating in the air. You become lighter and lighter as you glide downward. You finally touch the ground, softly and gently. As you lie there, all negative feelings and heaviness have left your body. You are almost weightless.
o
All bad feelings are released from your body like the air you exhale. As you breathe slowly and deeply, imagine that each time you exhale, you are releasing all negative thoughts.
o
A relaxing piece of music can help in your meditation. Also, listening to the music alone and letting it wash away your worries and concerns can also work, even without images.
*
Draw energy from nature. You need not go to the beach or the mountains – you can draw energy from focusing on the beauty of a simple flower or tree. Take note of the object’s every detail – from the shape, the color, the way the light plays on its surface and others. Drink in its “essence” and imagine this “essence” filling you.
*
Ask for energy from others. People who support you are a very powerful source of energy. Their help is especially valuable when you are having a hard time replenishing your energy on your own. When you are feeling tired or depressed, you can ask people close to you to send you energy. You can make your request direct, like “I’m feeling _____ now because of ________. Can you send me energy?” Or if you feel tired giving the details, you can just say how you feel and that you need energy.
If these people are near you, ask for a hug! Or several hugs, depending on how many you need to feel better. The more energy you need, the more people you may need to ask.
Give energy to others. You may think that at your current state you no longer have energy to give. Sometimes, though, when you give the little energy you have left, you actually receive more. For example, when a friend confides and asks support from you about a problem, you may forget your own worries at the moment and focus sending energy to him/her. Your sending of energy to your friend actually gives you energy..
END.
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? About the Author: Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C., is the current Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working life coach. Randin specializes in working with individuals to regain a sense of control over their lives … dreams and future. The power of Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning how to live by your own design. You can contact the author through our corporate email: rhema-int@shaw.ca. Visit his website www.ajourneytojoy.com to find out more about his unique gift and work.
School Blues
by Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
For a child who is already comfortable and at ease with the normal routine of his school, transferring to a new one might be a lot difficult for him. Changes abound – he has to deal with a change of environment, meet new people, encounter a different school curriculum, follow new school rules, and even try to make his way around his new school.
These, among others, might be the ones that have adverse affects on the child – a sense of rejection, trauma, or even depression.
“There are different ways in which kids act in various situations,” says Professor Josephine Aguilar-Placido, a sociology professor. “There is the issue of non-acceptance, especially when the child doesn’t know that he is going to be transferred to another school. There is the rejection from the child – absenteeism, skipping classes and sometimes the child exhibits behavior, such as withdrawal which would be unusual if he is usually outspoken.”
So when a child exhibits unusual behavior, here are several ways on how to deal with the child and his school blues.
Talk to your child. Prior to the move, have a heart-to-heart talk with your child. Explain to him why he needs to go to a new school. Have a positive tone and be encouraging – explain to your child that the new school is different, but with effort, it will be better than the old one.
Tour the campus. Even before the school year starts, schedule a series of visits to the campus so that your child would know who his new teachers are, and where the rooms such as the canteen, library, and the teachers’ lounge are located. That way, your child may become accustomed to finding his way around and know to whom he can easily talk if he needs help.
Observe your child on school days. Don’t ignore your child when the start of the school year rolls around. Make sure you talk to him after each school day, asking him how his day is, how he feels about his new school and his classmates. This way, you can immediately grasp what your child feels. If you sense an immediate discomfort in the child, talk to him after school, and discuss this problem with him.
You might also want to pay a visit to the school and talk to your child’s teachers or the guidance counselor.
Go over schoolwork with him. If a child is experiencing some difficulty in his schoolwork as opposed to his previous schoolwork in a former school, make time to sit down him and help him study his lessons.
END.
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? About the Author: Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C., is the current Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working life coach. Randin specializes in working with individuals to regain a sense of control over their lives … dreams and future. The power of Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning how to live by your own design. You can contact the author through our corporate email: rhema-int@shaw.ca. Visit his website www.ajourneytojoy.com to find out more about his unique gift and work.
Success Perspective
by Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
I’ve been asked a lot about success and achievement lately. Over time, I’ve come to believe that our success is not something that “just happens”. Our success or lack of success is a direct result of the decisions we make.
If we want to become wealthy, we must make wealthy decisions. If we want to become part of a healthy relationship, we must make healthy relationship decisions. If we want to become physically fit, we must make physically fit decisions. If we want to become more spiritual, we must make spiritual decisions.
This may seem overly simplified but this is where it starts. It starts with motivation. And motivation generates decision. The problem enters when we allow our emotions to interfere with our logical decision process.
Example: If you want to lose weight, your logical decisions should be to eat less and exercise more. Simple. Right? It’s simple until you allow your emotions to help make your weight loss decisions.
When your emotions enter the picture, you’ll soon notice that you’ve “decided” that “one piece of pie won’t hurt this one time.” After all you love pie. And then 2 pieces of pie and a bowl of ice cream later, you “decide” that you’ve already blown your eating habits to lose weight so what’s the point anymore.
You must keep your emotional decisions and logical decisions in check.
Example 2: If you’re trying to build wealth, you must make logical wealth building decisions. Simple again, right? Well let’s see… You’ve been making good decisions and sticking to your budget that is designed to definitely lead you down the road of wealth. But you’ve been renting this apartment and you know one day you want to buy a house. So instead of waiting, you go on ahead and start looking. You see a house you like and grow extremely attached to it. It’s got everything you’ve ever thought you might want in your dream home.
So you get pre-approved and qualify for more than you ever thought you could (of course). Even though this house is more than you were going to spend, you go ahead and make the offer, then the counter offer. You end up purchasing your dream home. But at what cost? You are now back to where you started – stretching to make ends meet and living paycheck to paycheck. Your emotions bled over into your logical decision making process. Far fetched? I’m not so sure.
This is a crucial point to success. We must keep our emotional and logical processes of decision making separate if we want to succeed in our own predetermined endeavors. Don’t get me wrong. Emotions have their place and are a great source of successful living. But when we need to make logical, life-changing decisions, it may be a good idea to keep emotions and logic separate.
END.
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? About the Author: Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C., is the current Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working life coach. Randin specializes in working with individuals to regain a sense of control over their lives … dreams and future. The power of Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning how to live by your own design. You can contact the author through our corporate email: rhema-int@shaw.ca. Visit his website www.ajourneytojoy.com to find out more about his unique gift and work.
Finding the Courage to Effectively Lead
by Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
We all face hardships at some point in our lives. Some of us own responsibility and get on with our lives while most of us blame others. When you own responsibility for yourself you empower yourself. You are the cause and your life experiences are the results in your life. You determine the direction of your life. You are in control of your life.
If you are not able to explain why your life is as it is, you are probably giving your power away to someone else, are you? Most of us tend to blame something else or someone else or our fate for all bad experiences in our life such as abusive childhood, loss of a loved one or broken relationships. When you are not in control of yourself or your life that means you are powerless. Blaming is a disempowering emotion.
If you think by blaming others for your life you are getting away from problems you are completely wrong. Your life problems would stay the same and recur again and again as long as you make someone else responsible for your life. You give others power to control you and your life. So your life problems would tend to stay the way they are until you take back your power and claim full responsibility for your emotions, actions and life as a whole.
True empowerment is taking responsibility for your life so that you are free to do whatever you want to do and be anything you choose to be.
Here are 4 tips to empower you:
1) Make your own choices – Life is full of choices and you have the freedom to choose. You learn only through trial and error. Be bold and accept the outcome of your decisions. If your choice is correct, be happy. If not do not blame yourself or others. Instead, analyze where you went wrong and correct yourself. The next time around, you may be able to make the right choices.
2) Practice deep breathing – If you make it a habit to practice deep breathing throughout the day, you would have clarity in your thoughts. You feel more relaxed to think clearly and make good judgments of your situations.
3) Feel grateful – Gratitude is something we never show for many things we enjoy in our life. Instead of cursing your problems look around you and realize how blessed you are to have nature bestow you good health, sunshine, food, good relationships, fresh air, etc. When you feel grateful for these things you are convinced that life is not bad at all.
4) Develop mental awareness – Observe your thoughts. Are they good or bad? Are they positive or negative? If your thoughts are positive it is good. You could act on them with positive results. What if you have negative thoughts? You could still control them if you are aware of them. Empower yourself by being aware of your good and bad thoughts.
When you deal with your own pains and pleasures you are the controller of your life. Just know that no one else could take away your power to control your life and events because you are the master of your destiny.
END.
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? About the Author: Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C., is the current Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working life coach. Randin specializes in working with individuals to regain a sense of control over their lives … dreams and future. The power of Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning how to live by your own design. You can contact the author through our corporate email: rhema-int@shaw.ca. Visit his website www.ajourneytojoy.com to find out more about his unique gift and work.
4-Tips to Empower Yourself
by Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
We all face hardships at some point in our lives. Some of us own responsibility and get on with our lives while most of us blame others. When you own responsibility for yourself you empower yourself. You are the cause and your life experiences are the results in your life. You determine the direction of your life. You are in control of your life.
If you are not able to explain why your life is as it is, you are probably giving your power away to someone else, are you? Most of us tend to blame something else or someone else or our fate for all bad experiences in our life such as abusive childhood, loss of a loved one or broken relationships. When you are not in control of yourself or your life that means you are powerless. Blaming is a disempowering emotion.
If you think by blaming others for your life you are getting away from problems you are completely wrong. Your life problems would stay the same and recur again and again as long as you make someone else responsible for your life. You give others power to control you and your life. So your life problems would tend to stay the way they are until you take back your power and claim full responsibility for your emotions, actions and life as a whole.
True empowerment is taking responsibility for your life so that you are free to do whatever you want to do and be anything you choose to be.
Here are 4 tips to empower you:
1) Make your own choices – Life is full of choices and you have the freedom to choose. You learn only through trial and error. Be bold and accept the outcome of your decisions. If your choice is correct, be happy. If not do not blame yourself or others. Instead, analyze where you went wrong and correct yourself. The next time around, you may be able to make the right choices.
2) Practice deep breathing – If you make it a habit to practice deep breathing throughout the day, you would have clarity in your thoughts. You feel more relaxed to think clearly and make good judgments of your situations.
3) Feel grateful – Gratitude is something we never show for many things we enjoy in our life. Instead of cursing your problems look around you and realize how blessed you are to have nature bestow you good health, sunshine, food, good relationships, fresh air, etc. When you feel grateful for these things you are convinced that life is not bad at all.
4) Develop mental awareness – Observe your thoughts. Are they good or bad? Are they positive or negative? If your thoughts are positive it is good. You could act on them with positive results. What if you have negative thoughts? You could still control them if you are aware of them. Empower yourself by being aware of your good and bad thoughts.
When you deal with your own pains and pleasures you are the controller of your life. Just know that no one else could take away your power to control your life and events because you are the master of your destiny.
END.
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? About the Author: Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C., is the current Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working life coach. Randin specializes in working with individuals to regain a sense of control over their lives … dreams and future. The power of Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning how to live by your own design. You can contact the author through our corporate email: rhema-int@shaw.ca. Visit his website www.ajourneytojoy.com to find out more about his unique gift and work.
Brain Dump, or Brain Pump?
by Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
We’ve all felt emotionally drained, physically down, or even the opposite of those. We’ve felt on top of the world where we felt like nothing could stop us or hold us back. What if you knew the reason for the back and forth feeling of emotional and physical pendulum? You knew there had to be a reason, right?
If you could know why you were feeling physically down or emotionally drained, would you feel more empowered and take action to fix it? Definitely! Well, get ready to start taking action, because below are the reasons why most of us feel the way we do AND how we can turn our brains into the way we want to feel all the time.
The fact of the matter is we get ‘down’ sometimes because we lack stimulation. We lack it in all areas of our lives. If you compare our physical, mental and emotional output now to even 15 years ago, we’ve reduced efforts drastically. And it doesn’t seem to be getting any better.
With technology at our fingertips pointing at us every direction we go, there is no need for physical exertion or to even think as much as we used to. Everything is becoming ‘dumbed down’ and ‘comfort created’ we have become pampered to the point of pitiful. And all these luxuries and pampering are causing us to stay in – away from others – more than ever before. Never before have you been able to live in the midst of hundreds of people and not even know your next door neighbor’s name.
So, assuming you want to lift your spirits and feel better all the time – compared to how you feel most of the time – let’s look at some solutions.
Exercise Effects Your Brain
Now you may be saying, “No kidding! I’ve known that for years!”
Good! At least you’re willing to admit that it’s a fact. But you may not have realized that just recently scientist have learned that some form of regular exercise – or even just thinking about exercise my mentally practicing it – is beneficial on wife variety of daily activities.
Dr. V. Reggie Edgerton from the University of California at Los Angeles claims that research is showing that regular exercise is having a benefiting effect in how the brain functions. Research further shows, with regular exercise, the brains ability to reduce symptoms of depression.
Reading Effects Your Brain
In July 31, 2007 issue of Neurology Magazine, doctor’s mention a study that was performed by those would be considered less educated – academically – but, because of years of reading, they have helped their brains develop, what doctors call, a cognitive reserve. Cognitive reserve is a benefit to the individual from a health prospective and has also found to help shield people from the effects of certain kinds of brain injuries.
Being Friendly and Having Friends Effects Your Brain
If you interact on a personal level with others around you, chances are you’ll develop some solid relationships. Did you know, by doing this, you’re potentially protecting yourself from forms of dementia – including Alzheimers?
Dr. David A. Bennett headed a study, the first of its kind, to determine the relationship between social networks and Alzheimers disease pathology. Dr. Bennett stated, “Our findings suggests that social networks are related to something that offers a ‘protective reserve’ capacity that spares them the clinical manifestations of Alzheimer’s disease.”
All three of these examples are remarkable. They’re not theory. They’re clinical and scientifically valid. There’s your answer. There are three areas to work on to improve your quality of life.
Exercise, Reading and just being more social can:
1. improve your mood and energy
2. improve your overall health physically
3. improve and drastically protect you from mental diseases
This is just a few of the things that have recently been tested and discovered. Imagine what’s waiting out there that we haven’t even found out yet. One thing’s for sure. There will definitely be more benefits to our quality of life just from these three examples.
Now go read or run or something!
END.
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? About the Author: Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C., is the current Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working life coach. Randin specializes in working with individuals to regain a sense of control over their lives … dreams and future. The power of Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning how to live by your own design. You can contact the author through our corporate email: rhema-int@shaw.ca. Visit his website www.ajourneytojoy.com to find out more about his unique gift and work.
Learning to Concentrate and Focus
by Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
No matter who you are or what your occupation may be, you will need to learn how to concentrate and focus. You could be a student, or an office worker, or even someone involved in manual labor such as a construction worker but one thing is sure – you will need to devote time and energy to concentration and focus on your occupation.
But first of all, just what is concentration? Concentration is defined as deep mental application towards something. If you are concentrating on something, you devote all your attention to it.
So, what is the difference between concentration and focus?
Focus would be the level of concentration you practice at something. So you could be concentrating on something but perhaps not be focused on it. If you were really interested in that object or person, and devoted all of your concentration on it, it can be said that you are focused.
So how do you learn to focus (meaning you improve the level of your concentration)?
First, you have to accept that there are two types of individuals out there. You could be the type that has learned how to deal with frustration or you could be the type that has not. If you believe you are the former yet find it hard to finish the task you are working on – remember, you can still do more than what you believe you can do. This means really pushing yourself to develop mental stamina by going beyond the point of frustration. Just keep working despite the feeling that you want to give up and you will develop mental endurance.
Second, if you have a tendency to become scatterbrained, try bribing your mind. Do one task at a time but impose time limits – this will prevent your mind from focusing on other less important tasks.
Third, if you still can’t seem to focus, write down your concerns on a to-do list. This allows you to free some space in your mind for immediate concerns, rather than use your mind as a bulletin board.
Last, you have to fight the urge to procrastinate. If you have a task to do, and you want to postpone it, ask yourself: Should I do this? If I do it, will I keep worrying about it? If I postpone it, will it be easier to do later? By asking yourself those 3 key questions, you gain the motivation to mentally apply yourself towards finishing your goal.
for now,
Randin
END.
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? About the Author: Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C., is the current Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working life coach. Randin specializes in working with individuals to regain a sense of control over their lives … dreams and future. The power of Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning how to live by your own design. You can contact the author through our corporate email: rhema-int@shaw.ca. Visit his website www.ajourneytojoy.com to find out more about his unique gift and work.
Finding the Courage to Effectively Lead
by Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
We all face hardships at some point in our lives. Some of us own responsibility and get on with our lives while most of us blame others. When you own responsibility for yourself you empower yourself. You are the cause and your life experiences are the results in your life. You determine the direction of your life. You are in control of your life.
If you are not able to explain why your life is as it is, you are probably giving your power away to someone else, are you? Most of us tend to blame something else or someone else or our fate for all bad experiences in our life such as abusive childhood, loss of a loved one or broken relationships. When you are not in control of yourself or your life that means you are powerless. Blaming is a disempowering emotion.
If you think by blaming others for your life you are getting away from problems you are completely wrong. Your life problems would stay the same and recur again and again as long as you make someone else responsible for your life. You give others power to control you and your life. So your life problems would tend to stay the way they are until you take back your power and claim full responsibility for your emotions, actions and life as a whole.
True empowerment is taking responsibility for your life so that you are free to do whatever you want to do and be anything you choose to be.
Here are 4 tips to empower you:
1) Make your own choices – Life is full of choices and you have the freedom to choose. You learn only through trial and error. Be bold and accept the outcome of your decisions. If your choice is correct, be happy. If not do not blame yourself or others. Instead, analyze where you went wrong and correct yourself. The next time around, you may be able to make the right choices.
2) Practice deep breathing – If you make it a habit to practice deep breathing throughout the day, you would have clarity in your thoughts. You feel more relaxed to think clearly and make good judgments of your situations.
3) Feel grateful – Gratitude is something we never show for many things we enjoy in our life. Instead of cursing your problems look around you and realize how blessed you are to have nature bestow you good health, sunshine, food, good relationships, fresh air, etc. When you feel grateful for these things you are convinced that life is not bad at all.
4) Develop mental awareness – Observe your thoughts. Are they good or bad? Are they positive or negative? If your thoughts are positive it is good. You could act on them with positive results. What if you have negative thoughts? You could still control them if you are aware of them. Empower yourself by being aware of your good and bad thoughts.
When you deal with your own pains and pleasures you are the controller of your life. Just know that no one else could take away your power to control your life and events because you are the master of your destiny.
END.
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————-
? About the Author: Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C., is the current Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working life coach. Randin specializes in working with individuals to regain a sense of control over their lives … dreams and future. The power of Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning how to live by your own design. You can contact the author through our corporate email: rhema-int@shaw.ca. Visit his website www.ajourneytojoy.com to find out more about his unique gift and work
How to Discover Your Talents
You’ll never know what you’re truly good at until you give different things a try. When you take action to find your strengths, you just might surprise yourself. Perhaps there’s something you’ve always wanted to try, but you think that you wouldn’t be any good at it. You simply won’t know until you try!
When you discover your talents, it can be an eye opening and fulfilling experience for you. The things you’re good at are often things you enjoy doing the most. Your talents could even stem into a full-blown career where you wouldn’t only be helping yourself, you’d be helping others too. Read more
Self Motivation
There are three categories of people. The non-achievers, the achievers and there are the self-motivated people. Sometimes even the achievers may fail to do something but a self motivated individual draws inspiration from failures to make success stories. A self motivated person will always have his confidence levels shooting through the roof and the world is his oyster.
Here are a few guidelines to keep your motivation high … Read more
How to Learn Faster
Did you know you can learn faster than you do now? Not only can you learn faster, if you want to, you can help others to learn faster as well.
If you’re a parent, in management, a trainer or a coach, this can be invaluable for you while working with others.
The first thing to realize is that not everyone processes information the same. That means we all learn differently. For the most part, we have three ways of processing and learning.
The main three learning processes are:
Virtual Cures
In a world that is full of modern gadgets, innovative technology and new inventions, human race has also adapted itself to the dynamic changes in the society. Humans have learned to use computers, laptops, internet, etc., and have even adjusted well enough to make these new technologies almost a normal part of their daily living.
Thanks to the new technologies that have been sprouting every now and then, a lot of traditional things, jobs and processes have been replaced by technological ones. One of the traditional things that have been attempted to replace is the process of psychotherapy.
Usually, when people have problems pertaining to emotions, behaviors, phobias, etc., they are usually referred to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. However, due to the availability of new technologies and inventions, traditional psychotherapy methods have been challenged by the emergence of virtual reality therapy.
What Is Virtual Reality Therapy?
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Why Peer Pressure?
Remember what your teenager usually says when he reaches a certain point in his life? “Mom, I want a PS 3. Everyone in school has one!” “Dad, please let me go to the party or I’ll be the laughingstock of the whole school! Everyone will think I’m so uncool!” “Mom, I need to have my hair cut this way because it’s the hot new look!”
Harmless? Yes, but in some ways, it is also distressing given the pattern his requests and desires are following. Your teenager is going through a certain phase in life, and with it comes trying to fit in, doing what everyone else is doing, or wanting to buy something or look a certain way just to be considered “cool.” Peer pressure is a vicious beast and can truly transform the way your teenager is behaving. Read more
Practical Tips on How to Keep a Job
Finding a good and decent job is tough; but maintaining one proves to be tougher. There are several factors that make a job a lot difficult to deal with, and these include your relationship with your workmates, your professional relationship with your superiors, your own personal motives, and, of course, your work attitude.
However, everything will eventually depend on your own perceptions, work response, and outlook. Having a selfish motive when you are at work will make you perform in unacceptable ways, like when you talk ill about a co-worker just to get ahead. Needless to say, an attitude like this will lead you to stagnant growth, making the whole of your career miserable. Read more
Learning to Concentrate and Focus
No matter who you are or what your occupation may be, you will need to learn how to concentrate and focus. You could be a student, or an office worker, or even someone involved in manual labor such as a construction worker but one thing is sure – you will need to devote time and energy to concentration and focus on your occupation.
But first of all, just what is concentration? Concentration is defined as deep mental application towards something. If you are concentrating on something, you devote all your attention to it. Read more
Be a Professional
You are, at any given time, a son/daughter, sibling, parent or friend to someone else and as such, you carry on a ‘role’ that suits your relationship. When you work for someone or with someone, you are expected to put on a different persona other than these existing ones – that of being a professional. It is not as easy to be one though as being a professional doesn’t come naturally.
Being a professional means that you carry a responsibility given by the company. It trusts you to do your job and to do it the best way that you can. Deadlines should be met. Work should be beyond reproach. Attitude and PR should always conform to the company’s standard. Keep this as a mantra whenever you have to do work regardless of your personal feelings. Say for example, your job is to answer questions on your company products and a customer kept on badgering you with endless questions on it. You have to be patient and answer the questions until the customer is satisfied; that’s part of your job. Retain a grip on your temper and find ways to keep your cool even if you feel like bashing the person’s head with a pipe. That’s what a professional should do.
Who’s Your Role Model?
When we were kids, we all had our own set of idols and role models, right? Some of us wanted to be a superhero, some of us wanted to be Barbie, while some dreamed of being a doctor, a teacher or a President.
As we grew older, perhaps our role models have changed. However, one fact remains the same. We still have our own role model, someone that we look up to and desire to emulate.
Each person has his or her own role model, and it doesn’t really matter whether the person is dead or alive, famous or not. What matters most is how a certain person affects or inspires another to become a better human being.
Avoid Stress!
Stress has become part of modern human life. It is here to stay unless we start making minor changes to work around it. Stress is taxing on your body and mind and has long term effects. Stress is also said to reduce life span. But have you ever wondered why we get stressed out? What is it that we’re doing wrong?
Stress is the outcome of over work, constant thinking and burdening of the mind, and lack of rest and relaxation. Your mind and body are like machines, they get heated up with over work, they shutdown when work is unusually heavy. What are we working so hard for? Isn’t it for money? Why do we need money? So that we can afford those things in life which give us pleasure. But if we don’t have the time to enjoy, then what’s the use of money?
Think You Can!
How many times did you say to yourself: “I can’t do this.”?
This statement has destroyed lots of dreams, hopes and aspirations. This statement was rooted in our minds when we were kids, and kept reinforced as we grow up. This statement became the common excuse that people use to quit their dreams and goals.
You should remove this statement from you dictionary.
The reality is that YOU CAN. Your potential is limitless, and you are equipped with all what you need to succeed and fulfill your destiny.
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Managing Time
Many people often complain that they can’t do everything at the same time since they don’t have the time. But the truth is, they do have the time. They just don’t know how to put things in perspective. In other words, they just don’t know how to prioritize what they have to do.
There are actually three rules to effective time management. First is to never create impossible situations. Do things that are realistically set, and that you can finish in less time. Second is that people need to define priorities. List the most important thing that you need to do for the day, and finish that one first. The succeeding things that you need to do should come in second, third, or fourth. Lastly, it is best if people avoid distractions and concentrate more on what they have to do. Avoiding distractions means avoiding the things normal people love doing, such as watching television, surfing the internet, going out with friends or playing the computer.
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How to Boost Your Memory
Although many things about the brain are still unsolved mysteries, we’ve learned a lot about memory.
Did you know your brain is made up of 100 billion neurons? As you grow up, develop, and gain wisdom from life experiences, these neurons become connected to each other and they communicate through these connections.
Memories are formed when certain neuron connections in the brain are strengthened by an event. Even though our brain takes in everything, if we don’t strengthen these connections, we tend to forget.
How can you improve your memory?
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How to Become Influential
Influence is one of the most motivating factors in decision making. When you have a major decision to make, what are the influences that drive you to a final decision? It’s normal to base any big decisions you make on how it will affect your loved ones. In essence, you could say that those closest to you have a lot of influence on the decisions you make in life.
Influence is the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something.
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Reaching the Top
Many of you have probably heard of people inching their way slowly to the top, gradually overcoming obstacles on their way and struggling with as much effort as they can to reach one of the highest peaks in the world, Mount Everest. Or maybe you have heard of people who overcame all hardships and adversities in their lives who made a difference in the world. People such as Marie Curie, Thomas Edison, the Wright Brothers, Walt Disney, Neil Armstrong and Amelia Earhart have all contributed to the idea of success we all possess and aim for today.
But what is their secret to their success? What made them different from the rest of us? Read more
Why Foreign Language Training is Essential
People who want to totally immerse themselves and have a first-hand experience of certain cultures should first learn how to speak and live other languages no matter how foreign these languages are to them.
Learning a foreign language may be difficult, but the satisfaction and the benefit one gets upon learning the foreign language is definitely worth the effort. Learning a foreign language can be both psychologically and financially rewarding.
The world is becoming more globalized each day that it is imperative that we are able to understand the languages spoken by people from other countries. People of a proud nation should not hesitate to learn and master foreign languages because countries no longer have borders. Of course, countries all over the world literally have borders; but technically speaking, we are now a borderless world.
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The P’s of Personal Success
Success can be elusive. It can find its way out of our lives. Why? Well part of the reason why is because we ‘settle’. We allow answers, solutions and circumstances to enter our lives that are not congruent with who we really are.
For example, we may be asking for ‘the answer’ to a desired relationship. Or we may be praying for a ‘solution’ to a financial situation. But when that relationship comes in the form of a person that may or may not be ‘the right person’, we settle.
And if that ‘financial solution’ comes in the form of a J-O-B … when it’s not the kind of work we know we’re cut out for, we settle. Read more
Gain Control over Your Life
Human life is a precious blessing and each day should be lived king size. I am asked quite often about the secret of my boundless joy and peace. All I say is that, I am high on life. I drink life to the lees because my life is completely in my control. We can definitely exercise control over the quality of our life by making the right choices.
To be in total control of your life, you need to begin with the development of a complete understanding of yourself. Each of us is unique in our own right with very diverse thought processes, and a mind of our own. Never try to ape someone else because you are the best in simply being yourself. Read more
Getting Away from Shyness
Quite often, I am asked about shyness and what can be done to assist one to “get over it.” There are many individuals who find fighting shyness a continual battle. So first, let’s define just what shyness is. Shyness is defined as an inhibition from contact or acquaintance with others. It is scientifically stated as an uncomfortable feeling towards some personal and interpersonal orientation that hinders the pursuit of goals.
Shyness is a state that causes discomfort in social situations that, in extreme cases, can lead a person to shun all sorts of peer-to-peer interactions altogether. It can be a mild type of shyness, where the person is still able to face others in discussions albeit with a Read more
About The Author
Dr. Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C., co-founder and acting Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching, brings a wide variety of professional training, service and experience to our faculty. Throughout the early 1990′s Dr. Brons learned certifications as a certified Master SPIRIT LIFE Coach and Medical Hypnotist, culminating in earning a Ph.D. in metaphysics in 1998. The driving force behind Express Coaching, Randin maintains a busy schedule working with our students while thoughtfully balancing his personal coaching and hypnosis clients that continue to require his expertise and services.
With an active interest in the “spiritual quest,” Randin has written two inspirational books of prose devoted to the exploration and connection of human spirit with that of the Creator. He has also penned an extensive work of inductions specific to the advancement and needs of the certified hypnotist.
Driven by his applied philosophy based on the Benedictine credo that all external changes begin internally, Randin is passionate about helping both students and clients focus on their unique strengths and potential by providing tools for action and learning that will help them become the best that they can be.
Randin is deeply committed to his work: helping people create fulfilling lives and careers. He has found his purpose in helping others find theirs.
You can find out more about Randin’s personal coaching work by visiting his website at: www.ajourneytojoy.com.
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EVALUATING COACHING:
50 pages packed with information you should know before you make any coaching career decisions!