Motivation 1-2-3!
by Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
Getting yourself motivated is really easy, that is, if you talk more positively about your own self. Listen to your own thoughts. Do you talk to yourself in an angry manner? Do you need to talk to yourself more positively?
The following are basic tips and advice to help you conquer your own negative thoughts and replace them with ones that are more positive.
Be true, be honest, be you. Very often, there are moments wherein you find that talking insults and cursing yourself is a lot easier. Imagine if you talk like this to your boss or to someone that you really care about. What would they feel? Do you imagine them staying to talk or be with you more? Be kind to yourself. Believe it or not, one’s natural tendency is to give and be loved, unless you let yourself be distracted by your past negative memories. Your true self is genuinely kind. Be kind to yourself. Do not treat yourself badly. Be respectful, patient, and more understanding. If you could act that way to someone else, you certainly could treat yourself in a similar manner.
As much as possible, always be your best when talking to yourself. Doing so will make you treat others a lot better. Eventually, these same people will then react positively towards whatever it is you are to say and do. Ultimately, you will get whatever it is that you want because these people will help you.
Make yourself heard. Observe how much you go through the day with a dialogue that only you can hear. What does this dialogue say?
To motivate yourself much more effectively, make sure to put passion as well as enthusiasm into whatever it is you have to say to yourself. Put energy into every word.
Difficult? Try to imagine this. Talk to yourself the way you probably would to someone who is standing in front of you, clearly waiting to be really inspired. Now, imagine that this person is you.
Speak loud, speak with passion, and speak with excitement and enthusiasm. The fire is in you. All you have to do is release it.
Feel good even if the going gets rough. Sometimes (and this happens), even if you are clearly focused and positive about yourself, there will be days when nothing really seems to go the way you want them to.
It is during these days when you really need to hear yourself talk, more positively that is.
Make sure that you have a collection of memories or talks that you could instantly play in your brain at your easy disposal.
Music is a good example. Or, you could also use memories of those people you know who have told you how much they appreciate you. Believe it or not, your feelings will soar and you will feel motivated enough to go through the day with a song in your heart.
Overall, the choice is yours as to how much positive vibes you want to play in your brain. All you need to do is unlock your hidden nature and set it free. A human being’s natural inclination is towards evolution, not devolution.
END.
Be a Better Spouse
by Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
Marriage can be the greatest blessing of your life, but it takes a lot of work to maintain a close, vibrant relationship for a long time. Sometimes it seems as though the odds are against the success of your marriage.
By taking these simple steps, you can continue to experience the intimacy and fulfillment you crave within your marital relationship:
Accept your spouse’s faults. Your spouse may be perfect for you, but they will make mistakes. Everyone has their faults, and a healthy marriage relationship is built on forgiveness and an environment of safety where you can be who you are without fear. Seek to create that environment and watch your relationship blossom. Remember that having different interests is healthy. Celebrate your differences. Seek to enjoy the things your spouse is interested in, and your spouse will likely show more interest in your passions. Show that what’s important to them is important to you also, and your significant other will have no doubt that you love them.
Be willing to compromise. In marriage, it’s important to pick your battles wisely. Some of the things you do will annoy each other, but it’s important to provide the grace and compassion that makes the other person feel valued. Be willing to give up your way on the small things, and your spouse will likely reciprocate.
Ensure both parties contribute. Marriage is a two-person system. Having just one person run everything will make things challenging for both of you. Whether it’s the bills or chores around the house, divide the tasks so that you make it easy for both of you. This is also true for recreation. When deciding how to spend your time together, take turns choosing what to do. If you have a movie night, make it a double feature so that each person is guaranteed a movie that they enjoy.
The 50/50 rule is a good basis for this. With this set-up, both partners play their part in the relationship and no one is superior to the other. As it should be, both become equal partners in the relationship.
Show them that you care. A lot of times, when a couple has been together for a long time, they settle into a routine and forget the little things. Each person in the relationship assumes that the other knows how he or she feels. Instead, date your spouse like you did when you first got together. You’ll be shocked at the results.
Show your appreciation and love for your spouse in small, everyday ways. When you do this consistently, you will notice a dramatic improvement in your marriage almost overnight. Small, inexpensive, thoughtful gifts throughout the year say more about your affection than one large gift on your anniversary. Say: “thank you” and “I love you” often.
Common courtesy is king. When in doubt, use the golden rule. Treat your spouse how you wish to be treated. Be considerate and thoughtful. Always be looking for new ways to express your love.
Be supportive of your spouse. When he feels down, do what you can to let him know you stand behind him. When she’s had a rough day, pamper her and show her through your actions that she matters to you more than anyone else in this world.
Marriage can be a complicated road sometimes, but it can also be the source of tremendous happiness and joy for both of you. Start today to take small steps, commit to loving your spouse with all your heart, and savor a marriage filled with passion, excitement, and a fulfilling journey through life together.
END
Stop A Child From Becoming “LOST LUGGAGE”
by Dawn M. Rubin, C.M.L.C.
“Crazy” you say? Well think again. I am not only a Certified Master Step Family Life Coach, but also a police dispatcher at an International Airport. Every summer, every Christmas, every spring break, myself and my fellow Dispatcher’s see this happen over and over again — parents sending their children to a relative’s or a parent’s house.
They bring the child to the airport, wave good-bye and kiss them gently. Sometimes, with tears in their eyes, they glue their face to the big window as the tug pushes back the aircraft that will soon depart into the sky.
So, what happens now? Maybe the child has a connecting flight? Maybe the person who is to pick up the may be late? What if the weather gets bad and there are flight delays? What happens if the person picking them up can’t make it through the snow covered streets? What happens if the child misses the connecting flight? What if the aircraft has mechanical issues and it never takes off? And what if the child becomes ill in flight?
Many parents feel that this is no big deal. That once the ticket is bought and the child boards the aircraft that the child is now the airline’s responsibility. TRUTH: we need to inform parents that this is not totally true.
The airline does take on some responsibility, but not all. Here is a check list for every parent that boards a child onto an aircraft:
- Communicate with your Child as to what they will experience. It doesn’t matter if it’d their first flight or their tenth.
- WARNING! Parents DO NOT send your child on any trip without a cell phone!!!! You can get a $10.00 cell phone just about anywhere and a $10.00 phone calling card.
- Give your child a list of all phone numbers and address, especially the contact information for the individual or relative who is picking the child up.
- List all the child’s allergies to both food and medication. Provide a list of any medication is the child is current taking. Also list any medical or physical conditions the child may have. The name of the child’s doctor and phone number should accompany the child. Make sure you also sign and notarize a letter stating that the person the child is visiting has a legal permission from you to have the child treated medically, if necessary and ensure this is kept in the child’s carry-on bag and is shown to a Flight Attendant should it be needed.
- Keep a copy of your child’s ‘confirmation number.
- Make a note of what your child is wearing. Many cell phones have a camera function. Please use it.
- Be sure you send your child with enough money for at least four meals in case of delays on either leg of your child’s journey.
- If your child has a connecting flight, make sure the reservation is an early one. This way if the connection was missed they can be put on a later flight and not stranded, alone at a strange airport.
- COMMUNICATE with your child as to what to do in case a flight is missed or an unexpected event occurs.
- It is important to remember — it is NOT the airlines responsibly to take care of the child if the flight is delayed or cancelled due to weather. When this happens, the airlines will usually call us, the Airport Police, for support.
What can occur when parents don’t follow these 10 simple rules? The parent receives a phone call from a rather emotional caller, blaming, sobbing and/or screaming. Now we have a scared child and parent with no way for them to communicate, feed the child or even house the child. The beds we have at the Police Department are in the prisoner’s cells. If the child in under 16, he or she will be held at the airport because the Police will maintain custody of the child until the next flight.
Please pass this information on to prevent a child from becoming lost luggage.
Word of the day? “Communicate.”
END
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About the Author: Dawn M. Rubin C.M.L.C is a Certified Master Step Family LIFE Coach and Master Co-Creative Communication Life Coach, who specializes in the process of Blending Extended and Step Families and in Family Communication and Dynamics. Dawn is also the founder of “One Voice – Children Supporting Children,” an organization for children to obtain the support of other children who are adjusting to the “Blending” process. Dawn has been a long-time graduate and friend of Express Coaching™ and you can contact the author through our corporate email: rhema-int@shaw.ca
6 Simple Rules in Life
by Randin Brons, Ph.D., C.M.H., M.S.L.C.
As a life coach I am often asked how to go about improving life in a simple manner that will bring about a positive difference. Let me tell you, life is simple and peaceful if you incorporate the following six rules into your daily routine.
Practice some quiet time everyday. Quietness of mind is the secret ingredient to a happy and successful life. Make it a regular habit to enjoy some quiet time every day. To start with set aside just 10 minutes at the start of the day. Just sit in a quiet place without paying any attention to your passing thoughts. You could pay attention only to your breathing and notice your chest and abdomen while breathing. This is not yoga, meditation, etc. This is simply a quiet time. Just ten minutes a day in the morning or night before bedtime is ideal for you to enjoy the peace within. If you make this a regular habit you would witness a better quality of life real soon.
Exercise your body and mind. Daily exercise keeps you away from mental and physical illness. Exercise keeps your body flexible, supple and strong. This leads to a balanced mind. There are plenty of good exercises you could choose from to keep yourself healthy and enjoy a long life. If you have not been exercising, you could start today. Just go for a brisk walk and feel the fresh air filling your lungs.
Eat sensibly. This area really poses a challenge for most of us. ‘You are what you eat’ is not just a mere saying. It is a fact of life. What we eat, why we eat, when we eat and how we eat are important factors related to our physical, psychological and spiritual well-being. It would be wise to choose a healthy diet and stick to it. Your goal should not only be to lose weight but also to keep it under control so that your body and mind does not bear the strain of overweight.
Choose a fulfilling profession or job. Many people have a habit of switching jobs. They do not seem to know what they are looking for. They are not sure if they are after money, challenge, job satisfaction, etc. It is important that you have clear-cut ideas of what you are looking for in a job. You should love your job in order to do it well and succeed in it. You would find fulfillment in your career only when you love your profession or job.
Maintain good relationships. Life is for sharing. Share your love and happiness with your friends and family. Learn to cherish your relationships. Respect everyone around you and develop good communication skills to establish truly valuable relationships. Relationships make your life meaningful.
Get enough sleep. Sleep restores energy. Make sure to get 6 to 8 hours of sleep each night. Deep, regular and restful mind is good for body and mind. If you have unhealthy sleeping habits get rid of them and develop good sleeping habits. Enjoy the benefits of good sleep.
When you practice these simple rules you are bound to enjoy a happy, healthy and peaceful life. Life is quite simple, really!
END.
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About the Author: Dr. Brons is the Chief Learning Officer of Express Coaching™ and a working coach. Randin’s work goes far beyond the search for your life purpose – the difference is in learning to live by your own design. Visit his website at www.ajourneytojoy.com.
How to Discover Your Talents
You’ll never know what you’re truly good at until you give different things a try. When you take action to find your strengths, you just might surprise yourself. Perhaps there’s something you’ve always wanted to try, but you think that you wouldn’t be any good at it. You simply won’t know until you try!
When you discover your talents, it can be an eye opening and fulfilling experience for you. The things you’re good at are often things you enjoy doing the most. Your talents could even stem into a full-blown career where you wouldn’t only be helping yourself, you’d be helping others too. Read more
Why Peer Pressure?
Remember what your teenager usually says when he reaches a certain point in his life? “Mom, I want a PS 3. Everyone in school has one!” “Dad, please let me go to the party or I’ll be the laughingstock of the whole school! Everyone will think I’m so uncool!” “Mom, I need to have my hair cut this way because it’s the hot new look!”
Harmless? Yes, but in some ways, it is also distressing given the pattern his requests and desires are following. Your teenager is going through a certain phase in life, and with it comes trying to fit in, doing what everyone else is doing, or wanting to buy something or look a certain way just to be considered “cool.” Peer pressure is a vicious beast and can truly transform the way your teenager is behaving. Read more
Learning to Concentrate and Focus
No matter who you are or what your occupation may be, you will need to learn how to concentrate and focus. You could be a student, or an office worker, or even someone involved in manual labor such as a construction worker but one thing is sure – you will need to devote time and energy to concentration and focus on your occupation.
But first of all, just what is concentration? Concentration is defined as deep mental application towards something. If you are concentrating on something, you devote all your attention to it. Read more
Avoid Stress!
Stress has become part of modern human life. It is here to stay unless we start making minor changes to work around it. Stress is taxing on your body and mind and has long term effects. Stress is also said to reduce life span. But have you ever wondered why we get stressed out? What is it that we’re doing wrong?
Stress is the outcome of over work, constant thinking and burdening of the mind, and lack of rest and relaxation. Your mind and body are like machines, they get heated up with over work, they shutdown when work is unusually heavy. What are we working so hard for? Isn’t it for money? Why do we need money? So that we can afford those things in life which give us pleasure. But if we don’t have the time to enjoy, then what’s the use of money?
Gain Control over Your Life
Human life is a precious blessing and each day should be lived king size. I am asked quite often about the secret of my boundless joy and peace. All I say is that, I am high on life. I drink life to the lees because my life is completely in my control. We can definitely exercise control over the quality of our life by making the right choices.
To be in total control of your life, you need to begin with the development of a complete understanding of yourself. Each of us is unique in our own right with very diverse thought processes, and a mind of our own. Never try to ape someone else because you are the best in simply being yourself. Read more
Live Life to the Fullest!
It’s so good to have the Express Coaching blog back online once again. As we have worked with those who have so freely given of their time to make our site a priority and to get us back up and running again, all within a few shot weeks – we appreciate you more than you’ll ever know.
So here we are, starting our blog once again from scratch. It’s an opportunity to begin over – to start fresh – to share some new thoughts and ideas and to remain positive in our work.
As we move into the holiday season and the coming of 2009 – I would like to make this short and sweet. I would like to ask you this question. 
Where are you living?! Strange question, right? But think deeply. I will make it easier for you. Are you living in the past, present, or future?
The majority of people are living in the past or the future and leave the only moment that they have which is NOW.
We live by our thoughts in a world that is not there. We either go back to the past to feel the sorrows and pleasures of it, or we go to the future to feel the worries and the joys of it.
But the fact is, you only live in the moment. And to live life to the fullest you must live in the moment. It is all what you have and you owe it to yourself to make it the best it can be.
Kahlil Gibran has a fantastic insight on this fact. He said…
We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them. – Kahlil Gibran, 1883-1931, Lebanese Poet and Novelist
We choose our joys and sorrows in our minds long before we see it in reality. And we might even don’t see it at all!
Live in the moment. The past has passed. The future is not there yet, so why you worry about it. And the present is a present. Make the most out of it and live your life moment by moment.
Don’t rush into the future or live in the cage of the past.
Fill your days with pleasure and live everyday as if it is your last day on earth.
You never know what would happen next! Life is short and you shouldn’t waste it by living in parts of time that no longer exist.
This is worth thinking about!
for now,
Randin
Positive Thinking through Self-Talk
Positive thinking refers to one’s confidence in actions, beliefs, and competencies. Having positive thinking is the key towards a successful and fulfilling life. Self-talk can be described as that little voice inside one’s head which can either be beneficial or detrimental to one’s thinking. This inner voice usually gives comments, critiques, or praises one’s deeds and actions.
Schools of Thought -
There are different views regarding self-talk in relation to building positive thinking. Some people may relate self-talk to the barriers towards attaining true confidence in oneself. This can be true in the cases of people who do not push to take the pessimism out of their systems.
There is also a school of thought that says self-talk is an important tool in the Read more
Live Life to the Fullest!
It’s so good to have the Express Coaching blog back online once again. As we have worked with those who have so freely given of their time to make our site a priority and to get us back up and running again, all within a few shot weeks – we appreciate you more than you’ll ever know.
So here we are, starting our blog once again from scratch. It’s an opportunity to begin over – to start fresh – to share some new thoughts and ideas and to remain positive in our work.
As we move into the holiday season and as we stand at the door of 2009 – I would like to as you this question. Where are you living?! Strange question, right? But think deeply. I will make it Read more
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EVALUATING COACHING:
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