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Article from LCResource Newsletter - March 2008
Celebrating your
continued development.
Title: Our Stress ... A State of Anger and
Unhappiness
by: Michael J. Boyle, C.L.C.
If you
corner most anyone born in America, and now over the age of 60, and ask them to
compare social relationships from a half century ago to today’s condition the
answers are startlingly similar and revealing. The general answers are
frequently that those times from the past were more considerate, patient,
methodical, gentler and compassionate. To most under the age of 60 those
revelations will be greeted with disbelief, in the extreme, or at best garner
accusations of gross exaggeration. A lot of that can be attributed to a
condition we hear a great deal about today called Denial. Denial has become the
resolution to things we don’t understand or don’t want to accept. Let’s
consider these differences that most, over age 60 people, will recall of the
past and compare them to what all readers can relate to in the present. Allowing
for some variability from either perspective the differences are still
revealing. However, rather than make this overly argumentative, I have chosen
not to “tear and compare” but rather to simple point out what is happening in
our current society and compare that with the statement that the past by
comparison was more considerate, patient, methodical, gentler and
compassionate.
People
are inherently good. So what is the “new age” dilemma that has created the
differences? It is Stress that is produced by an accelerated life style and
forced into our motivational systems from our earliest age. It has been at the
root of incredible highway mayhem, increased our blood pressures, added to our
food consumption, initiated a diabetic epidemic, increased numbers of by-pass
surgeries, huge increase in divorce rates, multiplicities of the Columbine
disaster and dare I say noticeable hyperactivity types of behavior in so many of
our kids along with other accelerated fast track issues. The speed rush has
forced us to feel it necessary to compete with one another over the presumed
prestige of bigger houses, fancier cars, the best colleges, country club
memberships and other things too many to mention (how much is on your credit
cards?). We do not seem to care for others nearly as much as we care for
ourselves. When asked about this many will say, of course, how else would you
place your priorities. That is singularly telling in itself but it is part of
our, I, My, Me society. We have changed for the worst in dealing with one
another and our personal challenges and its hurt our social structure.
We retain psychologists or
psychiatrists or gurus, of various trends, to treat us with forms of therapy
when we truly have approached or crossed the line to a degree of mental
instability or disease. These practitioners are kept quite busy, a sign of the
extent to which our social fabric has been stretched. Not far behind, from a
different perspective, are certified life coaches who have become quite busy
helping many people to reach within themselves to bring forth the solutions that
so often are buried within them and ready to be applied to relieve their
stressful situations.
It is from my perspective and
education as a certified life coach and over 30 years as a human resource
manager, a father of five, and being well over age 60 that I draw upon my
observations. There are many, many good people in this country who are just a
few steps away from being able to help themselves and others to manage their
lives a bit better.
There
are good books and booklets on stress management and friends can always help
friends. I have a more simple way of helping you to move up the ladder, away
from the stress that pulls you down. It requires systematic doing. The way our
lives are today it seems we are consumed by a constant barrage of challenge and
demand. It produces a confusing whirlwind of ideas and pressure and with it
stress and with that frustration and paralysis. So here is what you can do to
help yourself escape those things.
The first thing you must
do is to sit down, in quiet, by yourself and make a list of all the things that
come to mind that frustrate you, Mom, dad, school, job, boss, fellow worker,
upcoming test, etc. etc. etc. You may need help here and it could be a perfect
time to seek the help of a coach. Then each night take five minutes to review
the list and pick one thing. That’s right, just one thing. That can be difficult
because you have so many things! But just do it. The next morning recall that
thing before you do anything. Let’s say it is something with a fellow worker. Be
brave, no negative thoughts and approach your fellow worker with a positive
attitude and deal diplomatically but directly with the problem (avoid
confrontation) and start to work it out. Continue to deal with your worker
friend in this same way each day and you will see a difference. Pick out your
next problem and deal with it in a similar fashion. You can handle concurrent
items but stay in control of your list—don’t try to take on more than you can
handle because that’s where the whirlwind lives. Each success, each inroad will
make you feel a growing confidence, more in control and a bit happier. Over time
you will begin to see how being in control and taking calm and deliberate issue
with your concerns and fears will make major improvements in your life. Don’t
give up, be patient, just keep on trying and trying will reward you and become
easier. Be considerate, methodical, gentler and compassionate and accomplishment
will transform you into a more caring person enlightened through a step by step,
continual process of reaching out to resolve and improve your life’s conditions.
You see, we don’t manage things like that today but you can take charge and kick
a considerable amount of stress right out of your life along with a great deal
of anger and frustration.END.
About the Author: Michael J. Boyle holds
his certification as a Certified LIFE Coach. Michael is founder of
Executive Coach Now, an executive and business coaching firm. If you wish to
learn more about Michael's work, please visit his website at:
www.executive-coach-now.org.
Copyright Notice: Michael J. Boyle.
This article is copyright of Michael J. Boyle © 2008. All
rights reserved.
You may use this article for your newsletter and/or news feeds only if the
author's name and copyright information is attached in full. For all other
enquiries, please contact us.
Back to March 2008
newsletter.
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